Summer's Journey

2008-08-26T15:45:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

At this time I have not scheduled InnerDance back to the schedule. My recent diagnosis for my knee injury has turned out to be osteoarthritis. I am feeling much better but I need to re-evaluate if and when and how to return to teaching dance again. I was thinking of scheduling the dance class once per month perhaps as an evening celebratory class. It may turn out that I have arthroscopic surgery at some point...for now...it's not in the immediate future.

If you can...please join me for yoga or pilates either in classes or for private training. I can come to you or you can come to me...

Stay in touch... always sending love...

Summer

2008-07-30T07:22:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

Great News!!!

I am now at my one year marker from chemotherapy and my latest blood test is showing clear...I still have to have an MRI for my liver and abdomen....will pass on the news for that as well...Life is great and challenging as I continue to rebuild my classes...home business is rewarding. Let me know how you are...email me at theinnerhouse@gmail.com ...view my website for schedule info and more...Much love to all...Summer

2008-04-12T14:01:00.000-07:00

Greetings to all,

Just to check in after a long break to say I had a PET/CAT recently and am happy to report I am still doing GREAT...however...the following info will invite you to assist 2 very special people...if this touches your heart ...please do what you can...

An Open Letter from Jack Kornfield, Ram Dass, and Sharon Salzberg

Please feel free to post or pass along to friends.

Also, you are welcome to leave posts for Stephen and Ondrea in the comments section.

An Open Letter from Jack Kornfield, Ram Dass, and Sharon Salzberg

Dear Friends,

We are writing to ask your support for two beloved friends of ours, Stephen and Ondrea Levine. They are currently facing significant difficulty. After a life-time of giving, they are now at a time to receive from those of us whose lives have been touched by their presence and teaching.

Their greatest needs are financial. Ondrea has Leukemia and the costs of her insurance and treatment have used up their savings. Stephen's health is not good either, and he is too frail to travel or teach. When we heard about this, we felt moved to contribute to a fund set up for them, and to encourage others to do the same.

Stephen and Ondrea have been among our generation's most important teachers, demonstrating and encouraging others to embrace the power of love and generosity. For three years, they ran a 24-hour-a-day, seven-day-a-week free phone line for those dying or in need of support. When the phone bills got too high, they sold their house to keep the project going. For decades they regularly corresponded with thousands people who were seeking spiritual guidance, giving freely to those in need, many of whom were sick or in the final years of their life.

The circle has now come around, allowing us the opportunity to give to these two life-long givers. We hope to raise several hundred thousand dollars in small and large donations to help them through this time.

Caring for friends and teachers is an essential part of any spiritual life. As we age, spiritual friends are more important than ever. Stephen and Ondrea have been dear spiritual friends to us and to thousands of others through their books, workshops, and correspondence.

If you are one of these people and are moved to give, below are three ways to donate to the Levine Fund at Bread for the Journey. Bread for the Journey informs us that donations are tax deductible.

With gratitude and love,

Jack Kornfield, Ram Dass, and Sharon Salzberg

Mail: Send to: Bread for the Journey, 267 Miller Ave., Mill Valley, California 94941. In the letter, please enclose a note indicating that your gift is for the Stephen and Ondrea Levine Fund and in the note section of your check write "Levine Fund." In honor of the immeasurable gifts Stephen and Ondrea have given to the family of the earth, Bread for the Journey has generously offered to manage the fund with 100% of your donation going to the Levine Fund.

Online: click here and designate the donation to the Levine Fund: http://www.justgive.org/giving/donate.jsp?charityId=3583&isRecurring=&;

Phone: call 415-383-4600 with a credit card number.

To get on an email list for updates and news of Stephen and Ondrea, send an email to Levinefund@gmail.com and put in the subject "add to list."

For questions and other means of giving, contact SorenGordhamer@gmail.com.

* Please feel free to post this letter on blogs or forward it to individuals or groups you know who may wish to hear news of Stephen and Ondrea.

Much love to all,

Summer

2008-03-16T18:47:00.001-07:00

Dear Friends,

Sending love to all...let me know how you are doing. InnerDance is still looking for a home....it may take until this Summer...no pun intended...

I'm feeling great...just ended a run of subbing at the Soul of Yoga...it was wonderful.

Would love to see you all...

Namaste,
Summer

2008-03-05T14:20:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends,

Sending ongoing love and reminders about classes...please visit my website for current schedule info... www.theinnerhouse.us

In addition to my existing schedule...I will be subbing for Tom and Trisha for the next 2 weeks...@ The Soul of Yoga in Encinitas

Next 2 Thursdays 3/6 and 3/13 Gentle Yoga and Singing Bowl Meditation ...7pm

Next 2 Saturdays 3/8 and 3/15 Yoga ...9am

Next 2 Sundays 3/9 and 3/16 Meditation ...8:30 am and Yoga ...9:45 am

Namaste,
Summer

2008-02-18T12:35:00.001-08:00

Dear Friends,

Sending love to all of you...just to let you know my blood work is consistently coming back clear and excellent.

How are all of you?

Much love,
Summer

2008-02-10T07:27:00.001-08:00

Dear Friends,

Soul of Yoga info:

I will be subbing 9 classes for Tom at Soul of Yoga in Encinitas

Please join me at Soul of Yoga every Thursday night for my own regular class from
5:30 -6:45

And make notes re: the following classes that I will be subbing:

Sat Feb 23 Yoga 9-10:30
Sun Feb 24 Meditation 8:30-9:45
Yoga 10-11:30

Sat Mar 8 Yoga 9-10:30
Sun Mar 9 Meditation 8:30-9:45
Yoga 10-11:30

Sat Mar 15 Yoga9-10:30
Sun Mar 16 Meditation 8:30-9:45
Yoga 10-11:30

Namaste,
Summer

2008-02-10T07:24:00.001-08:00

I love you Alix

2008-02-10T07:18:00.000-08:00

Sending love to my son Shea

" Happy Valentine's Day to you"

2008-02-04T21:07:00.001-08:00

Dear Friends,

Everything is going well and I have now been at Loftin Integrative Health Services for one month and I am very happy there. Donna and Rusty and Gina have opened their hearts and welcomed myself and my students with open arms and love. I am so grateful. Classes are building and now that I've found a great place to share what I do...it will only continue to build and grow...thank you to everyone for your continued support. My student and friend Jose DelPozo just had a quadruple bypass surgery today and he is doing great...We will miss him for only a short while and then watch out Jose...ready to dance with you very soon!!! InnerDance( Spirit Dance) is still looking for a new home...I'll keep in touch with you about possible locations...if anyone knows of a great place...let me know...thank you to Devaloka and to Indigo Village for sharing such a special place for our dance classes...time for a change...Indigo is moving to a new location...I'm sure we will all re-connect.

Namaste,
Summer

2008-02-01T06:57:00.000-08:00

Last InnerDance at Indigo Village

This Saturday
Feb 2
10am

Please visit my website for directions and details on class

Please come and celebrate the closing of this location with love and gratitude ...time for change

Much love,
Summer

2008-01-25T10:40:00.001-08:00

Dear Friends,

May we all be feeling more rested from the holidays and ready to embrace our schedules with energy and consistency.

My new location at Loftin Health in Solana Beach has worked out to be wonderful and inspiring. Please join me in Solana Beach for group classes that lift you and support you!!!

At Loftin Health...Solana Beach
YOGA
Mon 6:30 p
Wed 4:00 p
InnerBlend ( combines Pilates Mat with Yoga ect.)
Tues/Thurs 9:15 a
InnerFlow ( group meditation)
Wed 6:00 p

Please join me for 2 more dance classes at Indigo Village in Encinitas ...still looking for a new home for future InnerDance classes...we need hardwood floors and enough space to hold at least 20 dancing students...also looking for availability on Saturday mornings around10 am...I have a few ideas...let me know if you hear of something...

At Indigo Village...Encinitas
InnerDance
Sun 1/27 4:00 p
Sat 2/2 10:00 a

Soul of Yoga is a wonderful environment for yoga and a safe place to explore your spirituality through yoga and the many classes that Tom and Trish offer. Please join me on Thursday evenings!!!

At Soul of Yoga...Encinitas
YOGA
Thurs 5:30 p

See you Soon,
Summer

see website for class details www.theinnerhouse.us 760-798-1563

2008-01-14T15:09:00.000-08:00

"Learn the alchemy human beings know. The moment you accept what troubles you've been given, the door will open. Sorrows are the rags of old clothes and jackets that serve to cover and then are taken off. That undressing, and the naked body underneath is the sweetness that comes after grief."
Rumi

2008-01-11T06:08:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends,

Classes at the new location...Loftin Health...have been wonderful. The space is welcoming and intimate . This warm environment has inspired all of the classes to a new level! I teach over 20 classes per month at Loftin Health in Solana Beach.

The New InnerFlow meditation class was transformative. The potential of this class will permit those of us taking yoga asana...to deepen our practice. For those coming for peace and quiet and rejuvenation will deepen that experience. It was a great beginning for this special class!!!

My new class at the Soul of Yoga is building and I'm making new friends. Soul of Yoga is a true example of what a yoga studio is about...kind ...compassionate...and deeply spiritual. The asana work is just a small part of the total yoga experience. The staff at Soul of Yoga have shared this knowing with all of the students ...to teach at this location has been wonderful and inspiring for me!!! I teach at Soul of Yoga every Thursday night at 5:30 in Encinitas.

InnerDance continues on ...please note there are two special times added ...NEW...Saturday 1/19 10 am ...again on Sunday 1/27 4 pm and one more
Saturday 2/2 10 am...all at Indigo Village in Encinitas...I'm still looking for a new home for this class...the locations that I've found have either had difficult parking ...carpet instead of hardwood floors ...or time issues. If you know of a place to continue our dancing ...please let me know.

Thank you for your love and support,
I feel such strong energy for 2008...your support lifts me even higher,
Namaste,
Summer

web site for details on schedule info: www.theinnerhouse.us

2008-01-01T22:23:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends,

Effective immediately...

Classes previously scheduled at Foundation Yoga only will be held at :
(no other locations effected )

Loftin Integrative Health Services
530 Lomas Sante Fe Dr. Suite B
Solana Beach, Calif. 92075

see website and click on the address from the InnerFlow page...
www.theinnerhouse.us

Wed yoga canceled on 1/2/08 to allow transition time...will return1/9...perhaps you can visit me on Thursday night at Soul of yoga

All classes resume Thursday 1/3 @ 9:15 am with InnerBlend

Please view new schedule in full

Loftin Health
Prices will be posted on site/ email coming soon with price info
check or cash

YOGA 90 min
Monday 6:30 pm
Wednesday 4pm

InnerBlend 75 min (combination of pilates and yoga)
Tuesday and Thursday 9:15 am Note: Tuesday time changes back to 9:15am

InnerFlow 60 min (donation) meditation class with gentle movement New Class!!!
Wed 6pm
(first class begins on 1/9)

(website info is not yet current for schedule times and days for the above info...will be updated soon...all other info is current)

Soul of Yoga/ Encinitas
Yoga
Thursday 5:30 pm

Classes held at Indigo Village /Encinitas

InnerDance 90 min

Sunday Jan 6 @ 4pm
Saturday Jan 19 @ 10am (New time and day today!!!!)
Sunday Jan 27 @ 4pm

(future InnerDance classes to be announced)

(see website schedule page and specific class title for details)

www.theinnerhouse.us

760-798-1563

(business line and voice mail)

Many thanks to those who attended today's Special New Year's Yoga celebration with Deep for sound healing and with me for Yoga...your attendance and generosity is so much appreciated !!! Happy New Year !!!

Namaste,
Summer

2007-12-24T18:33:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends,

Wishing you all a peaceful transition into the New Year as we take a quiet pause ...breathing in the challenges of 2007 and breathing out the beauty of 2007. Our tonglen meditation..those of you who are familiar with tonglen ...you will understand...if you would like more info...let me know.

I'm sure we all have had our trying times...our incredible times.

I am grateful to be alive...last December I was recovering from surgery. I'm not only alive...I feel amazing!!!

May you be surrounded by love ...may you offer even more love.

Join me in this peaceful celebration of love and the gratitude of our place in the world. We have so much to offer...may we rise up and be that which we usually only dream about.
Thank you for your love and ongoing support.

May peace surround you , May love lift you,
Summer

2007-12-19T12:46:00.000-08:00

" The inner secret, that which was never born, you are that freshness, and I am with you now."
Rumi

2007-12-18T10:09:00.001-08:00

Classes by Location

Foundation Yoga
solana beach

Monday Yoga 6:30 pm
Tuesday InnerBlend 11:15 am
Wednesday Yoga 4:45 pm ( will change to 4 pm Jan 1)
Thursday InnerBlend 9:15 am

Indigo Village
encinitas

Sundays InnerDance ( spirit dance) 4:00pm

Soul of Yoga
encinitas

Thursdays Yoga 5:30 pm

Please visit website for more info:
www.theinnerhouse.us

Namaste,
Summer

2007-12-18T10:03:00.001-08:00

Dear Friends,

Holiday Schedule

The following classes are at Foundation Yoga unless noted:

Dec 24th Monday night yoga canceled

Dec 25th Tuesday classes canceled

Dec 26th Wednesday Yoga 4:45pm

Dec 27th Thursday InnerBlend 9:15am

Yoga 5:30 pm...@ Soul of Yoga NEW class

Dec 30th Sunday InnerDance ( spirit dance) 4:00 pm @ Indigo Village in Encinitas

Dec 31st Monday night yoga canceled

Jan 1 Tuesday Yoga celebrate the New Year 11:15am

Jan 2 Wednesday Yoga 4:00pm NEW starting time

Please note the options of class days and times if your class time has been canceled.

Have a peaceful and reflective holiday honoring your personal celebration.

Namaste,
Summer

2007-12-17T08:15:00.001-08:00

Thank you for such a beautiful dance class last night...looking forward to seeing you all soon....come when you can to share in dance and the friendship and love that flow from this special dance class...

Much love,
Summer

2007-12-16T10:01:00.001-08:00

" Let your teacher be love itself."
Rumi

2007-12-14T07:20:00.000-08:00

InnerDance this Sunday at 4pm

Dec 16...23....30( a special New Year's Celebration)

visit website for details www.theinnerhouse.us

Namaste,
Summer

2007-12-08T09:00:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends,

Please join me for InnerDance this Sunday

Dec 9...16...23...30 ( also a special New Year's Celebration)

we continue in 2008...mark your calenders

Jan 6...20...27

All InnerDance classes held at Indigo Village in Encinitas

4 - 5:30 pm

visit website for details www.theinnerhouse.us

760-798-1563

" we have fallen into the place where everything is music"
Rumi

Namaste,
Summer

2007-12-03T12:35:00.000-08:00

Holiday Ideas

Give the gift of yoga as a group class or a private session for your loved ones and friends !!!

Give the gift of innerblend for those who would like to enjoy a combination of yoga, pilates ... movements using resistance tubing and small weighted balls as well as meditation and qigong techniques...may also be purchased as a group class or a private session.

Give the gift of private pilates combining pilates reformer with pilates mat exercises in a nurturing studio or your home

Give the gift of relaxation and rejuvenation offering a private meditation and restful private session...enjoy the aroma of organic essential oils and a pot of tea

Give the gift of a custom designed private session

Let your holiday gift be a true expression of love ... a gift of health and well being!!!

Please call me 760-798-1563
Or email me @ theinnerhouse@gmail.com
website: www.thetheinnerhouse.us

Love to you,
Summer

2007-12-03T11:27:00.001-08:00

Dear Friends,

As I look back at this picture and what was going through my head preparing for what was to come... I am reminded of how much has truly happened this year. So much to be grateful for and yet continued apprehension of what the future holds.

I have much to share with all of my students and friends. So many heart-felt experiences that have molded and shaped
who I was ....who I am ...who I will become.

My friend Teri, shared this Rumi poem with me the other day... perfectly timed for the launching of my new business name and programs. Please enjoy the poem as it's meaning represents my business motto.

The Guest House

"This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness...
Some momentary awareness comes as
an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all.
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows
who violently sweep your house empty
of your furniture.
Still...treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out for some
new delight.

The dark thought...the shame...the malice...
Meet them at the door laughing,
Invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
Because each has been sent
As a guide from beyond."
Rumi

2007-11-30T15:06:00.001-08:00

Dear Friends,

As I firm up my schedule ...I now have availability for adding personal training clients...I have been at full capacity and now due to schedule changes...I have room for 2 more clients. I can come to your home or business or you can come to my home studio.There are many options for private training. You may also think about this as an option for holiday gifts...for yourself or for someone you love!

I am very happy to be able to teach InnerDance (spirit dance) at the previous Devaloka and now Indigo Village location. When I was ready to return to teaching...Indigo Village was also looking for a new location. I can continue teaching InnerDance at Indigo Village for the remainder of the year. I am currently looking for locations to continue InnerDance for 2008. I have one possibility in Encinitas....still looking for additional options.

I would also like to remind you to visit my NEW website www.theinnerhouse.us for current schedule information. New class " Innerflow" registration is now open for accepting students for 2008...location in Solana Beach...check website for details ...this class requires pre-registration.

Many thanks to Foundation Yoga for welcoming my students and myself so lovingly...I'm (we ) are very happy to call Foundation Yoga my new home!!! Think about coming back to yoga or/and InnerBlend for a great experience in a wonderful space!! Check website for schedule information. If you happen to get off work early or are looking for a time option to get you home earlier....try my Wed afternoon 4:45pm for Yoga...a great class at a great time!!!

As we approach the Holiday energy ...treat yourself to Yoga or any class that offers you tools for dealing with this time of year. Please remember to be kind and loving to each other.

Thank you for all that you have done for me this past year...I am very blessed.

I look forward to seeing you soon!
Namaste,
Summer

2007-11-26T07:32:00.001-08:00

Thank you to Sunday night's InnerDance students...WOW!!! What a great class!!! See website for December dates!!!

Now that the holiday schedule is behind us ...may we all re-unite with our class schedule for yoga...innerblend and innerdance.

Please also view the website for details on the brand new class " innerflow" as well as the regular class schedule.

2007-11-25T07:23:00.001-08:00

Dear Friends,

This was me in April 2007 celebrating my 50th birthday and The World Celebration Qigong Day!!!

Today ...my hair is growing back and I actually look like I have a style...haven't even had my first haircut yet...picture coming soon!!!

Please join me today...Nov 25 Sunday @ 4pm for my continued celebration of healing at
InnerDance (spiritdance)
at Indigo Village in Encinitas

I feel great !!! I'm back to a full schedule of teaching and training. I've also just completed the final editing and proofing of my new website and new business look. Thank you to Pamela Wells for such beautiful work on my website...

This new look represents the me who has experienced healing on profound levels not only this past year...but...many times....it represents the me who has deeply loved friends who have gone before me and taught me the deepest level of love possible! They graciously passed the torch of Bodhisattva responsibility to share and to lift others through my teaching and life's experiences which show that even the most difficult experiences are the very ones that lead us to a more compassionate and loving life. Not necessarily a life without pain...most importantly...a life full of love.

This love is full of wisdom and the passion to lift others. This love is what I've been taught from Gladys ...my friend...our friend who died of cancer in 2003. There is a dedication page on my new website. This tribute honors 3 wonderful woman who were taken before we were able to truly appreciate their gifts. The wisdom these Women bestowed allows us to accept the gifts and to continue where they left off.

I would also like to thank Dr. Tsai, my acupuncturist and my friend. He drew the Chinese character as my logo for my website. This logo represents " union...gathering..etc" connecting us to " our inner house" . Dr. Tsai has treated me since Dr. Ni ( my first acupuncturist) (one of the 3 women honored on my tribute page) he has been a loving friend and a dedicated Dr. I am so grateful for his presence in my life!!!

I would also like to thank my husband Jim Autio. When he heard and felt and saw my description of my new vision ...he drew the first logo and helped me create "the innerhouse". Although, the logo became more simplified...his early influence 2 years ago ...was the catalyst of where we are now.

And to my friend Dan...
Where do I begin??? Dan is a true friend...a brother...I would never have survived many of the serious obstacles that came my way over 5 years ago. Dan was there with words of wisdom and support. I don't know how to say thank you. To also say thank you to his family who lovingly shared his energy with me so I would be able to have such a good friend. Dan also saw "the innerhouse " vision and with his own experiences with Chinese characters...helped me to find the logo as it is now.

And to Barbara...my client and friend who sat with me on the floor 2 years ago with a loving spirit and an artistic ear as we talked and created the beginning of " the innerhouse"..

There are so many people I would love to thank..I know I would run out of blog space...this will come in time...for now ...this specific appreciation is for the creation of "the innerhouse".

Thank you!!!

Love to all
Namaste,
Summer

2007-11-22T19:42:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving to all,

Thank you for a beautiful and loving class today!

If you missed today...remember we have InnerDance ( spirit dance) this Sunday at 4pm

Please check website for all info:

To access the website type in www.spiritsummer.com

When that no longer works type in the new website address www.theinnerhouse.us and delete the above address at that time

May we be thankful every day and may gratitude represent a behavior...not just thinking about feeling grateful.

Much love always,
Summer

2007-11-18T06:47:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends,

I can't express in words how happy I am to have returned to my classes...the sharing that I love so much!

While I don't know what the future holds ...how life's experiences show up to teach us... to help us become the very best we can be...I am grateful for the chance to return to what I love!!!

Today I feel the best I have in my entire life...other than the feeling of giving birth to my son( not during the birth)....but the feeling of becoming a Mother...hahahaha...I feel so good...so clear ...so ready to continue to share and to teach about not only my life's experiences...but to allow the multitudes of various special teachings to show us all how to move through life with a higher sense of values...to open our hearts so we can step into our day to day lives truly behaving with a natural sense of compassion and kindness. This is my sincere wish...that we all learn to make this natural ...to do this better...to practice whatever helps us get there ...it may be your religion...your faith...it may be your yoga practice...your meditation....maybe you have your own personal, special way of connecting to that place inside of you that allows compassion and kindness to show up.

It's not in the classes ...it's not on the yoga mat...it's not in your church on Sunday...it's what happens after you leave...what did you learn ? How do you behave? What are you doing day to day that supports you???? What are you participating in that raises you up??????

As we approach the holidays...let your inner compass be your guide...let your love seep out into your experiences. If you find yourself stressed...how can you change what you commit to ...maybe do it differently next year...maybe do something crazy this year...change it up...give yourself the gift of doing what brings out the best in you!!!

Please join me for a Gratitude celebration!!!

Special Holiday Schedule

Thanksgiving Day Yoga
Thursday November 22
9:15 am
www.foundationyoga.com
(schedule shows my InnerBlend class..this is changed only for this day)

Let this celebration continue as we dance together on Sunday

InnerDance ( formally Spirit Dance )
Sunday November 25
4:00 pm
Indigo Village
corner of E & Vulcan, Encinitas
see my website for class details

This class will also be a celebration of my new business name and class formats!!!

Spirit Summer has become " The InnerHouse "
You may type in www.spiritsummer.com to reach my new website
You may type in www.theinnerhouse.us by next week

This transition started 2 years ago and was put on hold during the last year of healing

Welcome to the transformation ...please join me on Sunday the 25th to celebrate this wonderful healing journey...please bring a list of what you are grateful for ...

My new info:

www.theinnerhouse.us
summer@theinnerhouse.us
or
theinnerhouse@gmail.com

(please delete the spiritsummer@cox.net)

(same business line )760-798-1563 current updates on classes and voice mail

"Observe the wonders as they occur around us"
Rumi

Namaste,
Summer

2007-11-08T19:56:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends,

See you at Spirit Dance this Sunday at Indigo Village

Encinitas... E and Vulcan

4 pm

November 11th and 25th

Come celebrate healing...

Suggested donation $10 - 20 per class

Free to all fire fighters or anyone who has lost their home due to fire

See you Sunday,
Love to all,
Summer

www.spiritsummer.com for details

760-798-1563 business line

2007-11-01T15:57:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

New schedule!!!!

Starting November 1st...tomorrow!!! YEAH!!!!!!

Following classes @ Foundation Yoga / Solana Beach

YOGA : Mondays 6:30 pm and Wednesdays 4:45 pm

INNER BLEND( formally known as Spirit Tone) Tuesdays 11:15 am and Thursdays 9:15 am

Prices are listed on website www.foundationyoga.com these prices reflect November and will slightly increase in December

Please check website for info on parking and directions

Spirit Dance will start earlier than expected...Indigo Village in Encinitas is still available through December...we are lucky to have the chance to return to our classes while I continue to look for space to share together in 2008. I know that many of you prefer Saturday mornings for Spirit Dance. Since, I have been out of the loop for almost one year...healing and building my strength...I have not been able to find any location that has Saturday mornings available. I am excited to offer a new time and day format...while I realize this may take some adjusting...I have personally been taking a yoga class at this same time and I found it to be my preferred time once I made that adjustment.

I hope you will make an effort to arrange your schedule to include Spirit Dance on Sunday afternoons at 4pm. I'm very excited to re-unite and celebrate my healing as well as celebrate the love we all feel so deeply when we dance together. I would also like to offer this class FREE to any firefighter or anyone who has become homeless due to the fires. I would also like to continue where we left off and offer this class as a donation class...the suggested donation would be between $10 - $20 per class...however, if you find that you can't afford $10 ...donate what you can...

Spirit Dance

Indigo Village

Encinitas( info on location on my website)

Sundays 4- 5:30 pm

November 11, 25

December 9,16,23,30

suggested donation $10-20 per class

FREE to firefighters or anyone homeless due to the fires

This is a temporary 2007 schedule

Please rsvp for classes ...I would love to know if you can come ....esp. for the return of spirit dance...

Much love to all,

Summer

Summer Autio
Spirit Summer Wellness
www.spiritsummer.com
760-798-1563
(daily business voice mail)
blog address:
www.elephantspirit.blogspot.com

2007-10-26T17:38:00.000-07:00

OOPS....correction for the November schedule below....

The tuesday and thursday times were accidently switched for inner blend

Tuesday inner blend is 11:15

Thursday inner blend is 9:15

sorry for any confusion...

2007-10-26T15:10:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

Due to the lack of time to adequately market the Stress Relief classes...and also due to the fires and the need for so many of us to adapt to other schedules either from emergencies or to honor and be available for others...I have decided to start some of my classes later than originally planned.

The Stress Relief classes will start in January 2008. Please call me or email or blog your interest and I will add you to an interest list. If you would like fliers to hand out ...please let me know.

Spirit Dance will also be postponed until January 2008 for the same reasons.

I look forward to dancing with you very soon.

In the meantime...I will be teaching Yoga and Inner Blend( previously Spirit Tone)( combining yoga, pilates mat, resistance work with tubing and small weighted balls, meditation techniques) may you find your way to the classes in November if you are waiting for the other classes to start.

Starting at Foundation Yoga in Solana Beach November 1st ...next Thursday...

November Schedule (ongoing)

Monday ...YOGA...6:30 pm
Tuesday...INNER BLEND...9:15am
Wednesday...YOGA...4:45pm
Thursday...INNER BLEND...11:15am

Personal Training is ongoing ...at my home studio or your home or office

...if you're interested, please call or email...private sessions available for YOGA...Pilates Mat...Pilates Reformer and added equipment...weight training ...functional training ...meditation ...Tao mentoring( coaching) choose one or a combination of any...

business line: 760-798-1563
email: spiritsummer@cox.net

May the timing of this blog find you safe from the fires and finding comfort from family , friends and community support. If you are in need of anything...please contact me and I will do my best to assist you !!!!

Sending healing love and support...for added comfort...you may visit
www.chicenter.com for a guided meditation and more ideas that help with visualizations.

Love to you,
Summer

2007-10-11T14:48:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

I'm off to Ashland , Oregon for the Qigong Teacher Training Retreat.

Remember...I won't have cell phone or computer coverage while in retreat. I'll return calls and emails when I return.

Out of town October 12th-21st.

All new classes start in November...Have a wonderful 10 days...see you soon!

Namaste,
Summer

2007-09-30T19:01:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

The following information is from the recent emails that I sent out re: the Specialty class I'll be teaching and to also inform you of my new schedule all coming in November.

Please scroll down to view all of the entries...Have a wonderful week and I'll see you all real soon...I'm so excited...I'm feeling great!!!

Stress Relief

Group Class led by Summer Autio

Meditation and movement (borrowing from the wisdom of Qigong, yoga and other modalities) offering stress relief while promoting wellness

Who benefits? Anyone who has/is:

· Holiday stress

· Worry and stress caused by illness

· Caregivers

· Work stress

· Day to day normal stress…traffic…commuting…busy schedules…etc.

· Family stress

This class may be taken seated in a chair…seated on the floor, standing or lying down…there is a combination of seated and standing movements, however… you may sit down at any time …although, this is not physically vigorous, there may be times when you may want to rest.

8 participants minimum for class to be held…you may attend 3 classes …2 classes … or 1 class per week for 6 weeks

Pre-paid class as a series for 6 weeks: You may also pay $20 drop in…(you save $42 by pre-paying the one class per week)

6 classes $78 ($13 per class, 1 class per week)…12 classes $144 ($12 per class, 2 classes per week) or 18 classes $180 ($10 per class, 3 classes per week)

(Scholarships available…please contact me for details)

Class times: Please confirm ASAP…receive $5 off your registration if you register/pay by Oct 10^th … receive confirmation by Oct 26^th wear comfortable clothes …option to bring blanket /pillow

Mondays 4:45-6pm Nov 5…12…19…26…Dec 3…10…break for the holidays

Tuesdays 9:30-10:45am Nov 6…13…20…27…Dec 4…11…break for the holidays

Wednesdays 6:45-8pm Nov 7…14…21…28…Dec 5…12…break for the holidays

Location:

Loftin Integrative Health Services

Lomas Santa Fe Medical Building Suite B …west building…large building closest to the ocean…side entrance near street

530 Lomas Santa Fe Rd

Solana Beach, Calif. 92075

Please contact: Summer Autio spiritsummer@cox.net personal business line: 760-798-1563 bio on website www.spiritsummer.com

Dear Students/ Friends,

Above is the flyer announcing a wonderful specialty class for Stress Reduction...combining meditation and movement techniques from Qigong...yoga..and other modalities which promote relaxation and wellness that will be offered in November as a series...just in time for the holidays...please read right away and let me know if you are interested. This class will be held in Solana Beach...details on attached flyer.

I have confirmation on the following schedule ...I have not confirmed the Spirit Dance dates yet... I will send an email out regarding Spirit Dance by the end of this week. Look for Spirit Dance to be held in November and December !!!

New Schedule for Yoga and Inner Blend (formally known as Spirit Tone) combines Pilates...yoga...resistance training with small weighted balls and resistance tubing...qigong and meditation

The following classes will begin November 1st....

The cost per class will be $150 unlimited...$135 10 X class card or $ 20 drop in rate...the prices may be slightly less than what I'm quoting...but very close to this ...similar to our class rates before.These rates include all classes at Foundation Yoga...not just mine

Monday 6:30-8 pm YOGA

Tuesday 11:15 - 12:45 am INNER BLEND

Wednesday 4:45- 6:15 pm YOGA

Thursday 9:15-10:45 am INNER BLEND

Location:

Foundation Yoga

140 Lomas Sante Fe Dr. Suite 100

Solana Beach, Calif. 92075

858-616-8586....

you may contact me for questions related to my programs 760-798-1563 (personal business line)

(her current class schedule and price quotes do not show current for November...new class schedule and price sheet will be available soon!!!) The above schedule is accurate for me.

also...My website will be re-created when I return from Ashland... at the end of October...you may view my website for bio info and general class descriptions...schedule updates and new class names will be updated in November...

As a reminder:

I will be out of town October 12-21 attending a Qigong Teacher Training Retreat...I won't have access to computers or cell phone during the retreat.

I am currently accepting Personal Training Clients before and after I return...due to clients who have changed their usual times for training...I have availability. Let me know if you would like to have private training for yoga...pilates...weight training...qigong...meditation...or a combination of all...I'm available at my home studio or can come to you if you have the necessary equipment.

I'm so excited to see you !!! Let me know if you will be able to attend any of the formats offered ....or, if you have any questions ...all links and contact info above on the flyer..you may also reply to this blog.

Namaste,

Summer

2007-09-23T07:15:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

Last Friday 9/21/07 was a very emotional day for me. This was the first day I missed chemo due to my decision...(blessed by my support team) ....to stop my maintenance treatment. I don't know what life will bring me...I do know I'm clear and happy about my decision today!!!

Dr. Bahador's office is full of love and even though we are all facing some pretty serious shit...a place full of laughter and life. Between Dawn ( the chemo nurse) sharing stories about her grandchildren...singing ( don't quit your day job) and just generally loving on all of us...and Robin ...Dr. Bahador's Nurse...ready to laugh ...loves my patchouli body lotions...she is sensitive and loving ...ready to hold you and ready to let you stand strong...she has been with me since the beginning...I can talk to her about anything...both Dawn and Robin offer support in an environment of life and death and in between...they show support with sensitivity and compassion...they are ready to cry with us and laugh with us...they are not afraid to show their emotions...

Friday was a day of emotion for all of us...Chemo Kamp has always been a place for me to feel nurtured by these women ...by the staff ...by the other Kamp Women...raw ...powerful emotions and experiences...to decide not to go anymore creates immense joy and then you feel this twinge of sadness...how will I handle not sharing with them anymore??? Of course, we all figure out how to live without chemo...however...I don't know if we ever stop missing the love and care we receive from places like Dr. Bahador's office...thankfully...I will be visiting them often...to hug and say hi....to interview other Kamp participants for the books.To sit in the Chemo room and just drink in the healing...it's the best spa I've ever been to...

It just came to me that having cancer has been like musical chairs....the music of life is playing and we all are going about our lives and then the music stops....we all scatter to find our grounding...sometimes we get to find our place...sit in our chairs....once in a while...the chair is not there...it's our time...and then the music starts to play again and the circle of life continues....we all take turns sitting in the chair where life seems endless...as if it's one continuous party....and we find ourselves sitting next to the person that stumbled to get to her chair...or lost her chair....and we are there sitting in ours...perhaps we want to get up and offer our seat to someone else...watching some do well from chemo and surgeries and some have not...it's very real...as much love surrounds us...it's still real...as much as I want to go out into the halls and scream for more chairs....it becomes real.

My blood work is holding consistently and I've been cancer free for several months now...After 11 cycles of chemo...I left Dr. Bahador's on friday with clarity and peace...I don't know what chair I will sit in along the way...I don't know when my chair is given to another....none of us know....I am blessed either way...I have learned that it's not the cancer that is the blessing...the gift....it's the amazing experiences...the loving people that I've met....the reminder to live every moment with a commitment to be kind...to be aware...it doesn't mean that everyone else will respond in the same way....but you just keep going ...stay open and loving...know when to be a warrior ....know when to step aside...

I also want to thank the team of wonderful friends who continuously brought me food after each chemo...this would have never happened without Fatma Hansen taking charge of the food rotation from the very beginning...then she passed the torch to Susan Budner and all of you lovingly communicated with her and allowed the flow to continue....Thank you Fatma and Susan for your generous time and love...thank you to all the food team...your healing love infused every bite...I am so grateful.

I'm still negotiating with a few locations to bring back the group classes...I should know soon...my goal is to bring back classes by November. My website is still showing the basic info...this website will be updated as soon as the details are known.

Remember: I will be out of town attending the retreat/teacher training for Qigong from Oct 12th-21st...in Ashland, Oregon. I will not be able to receive cell calls or emails....feel free to leave messages and I'll respond when I can.

Namaste,
Summer

2007-09-16T08:21:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

It's wonderful to connect with you again. So many thoughts and experiences have flooded my heart, mind and body. It's time to share.

As the season of summer is coming to the place where seasons change and the fall equinox is upon us...we can celebrate by showing appreciation for what we have harvested in our lives.

I encourage you to take the time to acknowledge what the energy of fall means to you. We can celebrate this time where there are equal hours of day and night in both hemispheres...where we can come together and meditate with Tonglen awareness...breathe in the darkness...breathe out the light...you may focus on yourself...your family...your friends...strangers that you pass on the street...strangers you never see...perceived enemies...people who provoke you...all people on the planet...etc. Tonglen is a meditation that teaches that we can breathe in the pain and breathe out the healing. During the fall equinox...we can use Tonglen to deepen our experience to connect to humanity...celebrating our sameness...celebrating love and peace within ourselves...ready to share with others.

May we take this special time and reflect on what has come before us that provides a pathway of bountiful wisdom...a time to give thanks for all that has been given to us...including the obstacles that may seem so confusing at the time...obstacles that can include illness....loss of life...financial woes ...devastation on any level...etc. May we honor our experiences...may we learn from them...may we listen with a kind heart and may that wisdom we gain, allow us to open our hearts even more.

There are several yoga studios who are participating in the Global Mala Celebration. Due to this special time for me personally...I'm not able to share
this celebration with you in person through yoga or/and spirit dance. However, my heart and intention is to take the time in meditation to honor this special event and it's deep meaning. If you would like to participate in person or in your meditation...please google Global Mala and see how you may participate.

UPDATE:

Last month I completed 11 chemotherapies...8 of those cycles included a two drug therapy of Carboplatin and Taxol. The last 3 cycles were part of a maintenance plan of Taxol only. The original plan was to complete one year of Taxol only. Last month ...I wrote in my journal that I was done with chemo. I wanted to be sure that I was not making an emotional decision so I went ahead and did one more...which was last month... I still feel clear in my thinking body as well as my emotional body and I have made the decision to stop chemotherapy.

I have been cancer free from the beginning of the first chemo and have continued to stay consistent. I'm starting to feel the toxicity of the drugs...intuitively I know it's time to take a break. While I don't know what the future holds for me re: cancer...I do know that I am ready to embrace the many paths that provide continued healing ... intuitively and intelligently I chose chemo and intuitively and intelligently I'm choosing to stop.

Dr. Bahador supports my decision. He has been a healer from the first moment I met him. He represents the possibility of a Dr./patient relationship...a relationship built on mutual trust and respect....a caring loving human who happens to be an oncologist/surgeon...a Dr. who is also intuitive ...who allows his intelligence to make space for that intuition ...he provides his patients the space we need to make our decisions with his intelligence ...his experiences...our mutual wisdom...our mutual intuition...our mutual respect. His humbleness makes him the special and gifted Physician that he is...I am proud to know him...I am blessed to have him as my Dr. and friend.

If you are so inclined to feel fear from my decision...please take a moment and change that fear into healing love. I'm clear about my decision and this is the time I need you to continue your powerful healing energy. Please see me clear... healthy ... happy and vibrant...see me transparent and full of clear white light...or any healing color that comes to mind. Continue to lift me and surround me with your amazing love!!!

My health will continue to be monitored by monthly blood tests... and check-ups with Dr. Bahador...I will continue to have my normal check-ups that include mammograms...MRI's that will monitor my progress ...liver checks ...pelvic checks...soon...a colonoscopy...all of those tests that we all get...and yes...I will continue to write my book...our book with Dr. Bahador. I meet with Dr. Bahador this Friday to celebrate this decision.

One year ago I was diagnosed and have had amazing experiences this year...I was on my way last October to attend a Qigong teacher training in Ashland, Oregon. I was not able to attend as all of you know...I was on my way to surgery instead.

GREAT NEWS!!!!
I'm going to attend the Qigong Teacher Training this year...celebrating one year cancer free and my intention to be a Qigong teacher...as you know ...I have always blended Qigong energy into my classes from the beginning of my career and have lived Qigong energy in my life from my first memory. Now ...I will have the opportunity to bring Qigong into my life at a deeper level...

This training will provide me the ability to take my own healing to a deeper level while at the same time incorporate the wisdom of Qigong by learning from a Master and by opening myself to become a more in tune teacher ...available to teach others...to awaken the knowing that we can all heal ourselves and others...this is not a situation of instead of ...this is learning to integrate our wisdom in a more profound way.The workshops that I attend are available to anyone...the teacher training aspect is also available to anyone but not necessary to incorporate Qigong into your own life.

If ...you would like more information on Qigong...including workshops and classes...please visit: www.chicenter.com ...Master Gu (Mingtong) and his wife Linling are available to guide you ...

You may also visit Fay Mcgrew for local classes and general information as well... www.qigongwithfaymcgrew.com

I will be out of town on retreat and teacher training between October 12th- 21st.

MORE GREAT NEWS!!!!

I'm negotiating with a few locations to bring back my group classes!!! Ill let you know as soon as I know the details of location(s) and class times!!! Thank you for your recommendations on location ideas...it has been very helpful!!! My plan is to bring back all classes by November of 2007.

At this moment...

I'm still teaching the private resident group class in Fairbanks Ranch...Spirit Tone includes the blend of Pilates mat...yoga...resistance training with small weighted balls ...resistance tubing and other fun toys to allow for diversity. Meditation and Qigong techniques are also included.This class is full at this time ....the next series begins this tuesday....if you are interested please contact me and perhaps a drop-in option could be arranged.

I'm also training clients in my home studio and I continue to travel to clients homes and /or businesses. My home studio offers Pilates Reformer/ 1/2 trap/cadillac, wunda chair, pilates accessories, pilates mat, yoga, weight- training (traditional and/or pilates based and/or yoga based), meditation (various styles) Qigong (will be added as a class or/and personal training in November) and Tao Mentoring (life coach session).

I was recently diagnosed with "osteopenia" precursor to Osteoporosis...this diagnosis is a result of the instant menopause that was created by the surgery last year and by the chemo drugs ....as well as many other factors that contributed. Since my recent diagnosis I have done extensive research and can help anyone with information as well as training that is safe for either condition.

I will also provide a fact sheet in all of my future classes that will list precautions and movement options if you would like to participate in yoga and pilates but feel concerned about the contraindications. Unless a class is designated as a specialty class safe for osteoporosis or osteopenia...it may be a high risk for someone with progressed bone loss...it's very important that you take your health and well being into your own hands and educate yourself. With that said...there is an over-hype and excessive dramatization with how we have come to understand these conditions...we don't want to panic or to avoid living our lives because of fear. Education is key...including the healing work of Qigong,pilates and weight training geared for these conditions. Please let me know if I can help you with this.

....From my own personal health and wellness perspective...

I continue to integrate many things...meditation...qigong ...yoga...pilates... weight-training...hiking...biking indoors (at my home) soon to dance again with all of you!!! Buddhist and Toaist studies ongoing...formally and informally...Qigong teacher training...reading...writing...journaling...writing books...acupuncture with Dr. Tsai ( let me know if you want his info...he's been my friend and Dr. since Dr. Ni passed away...I love him) ...Healing sessions with various practitioners...drinking tea...tap dancing ( I love tap dancing...if you want info on tap dancing ...let me know...)...listening to music...making music...and yes...even some TV....diet has morphed from healthy to healthier...and more curious as I discovered some misunderstood allergies...at this time I am eating lots of raw fruits and veggies...vegan....brown rice and some cooked veggies ...still experimenting with it all as I learn more about me...I feel better since I eliminated gluten/wheat...all my food intake is soy free...dairy free...gluten/wheat free...egg free..and at this time meat free...vegan...I was eating fish ...experimenting not eating fish...I have mostly been a vegetarian from the time I was a little girl....at 16 years old I stopped eating all meat and later added fish and chicken back in and then went back to vegan again...I like experimenting with how I feel. My heart is a vegan...my body sometimes asks for options...we'll see how it goes.

I found the best raw food ..."The Greenery" behind Mozy's in Luecadia....open for lunch and dinner....they even offer biodegradable to go containers...they walk their talk...if you enjoy this type of food ...please support them...if you don't ....even more of a reason to explore this wonderful place...we can meet for a great meal sometime!!!

I am grateful and blessed to have all of you in my life...the love you have shared with me through prayer, blessings, food preparation, hospital visits... gifts in all forms...energy ...financial...specialty heart felt items...walking companions...email buddies...the list goes on and on and on...thank you for all that you have done and continue to do. I am here for you ...to support you to love you to offer you whatever you need...I am here lifting you as you have lifted me. May we all continue to live our lives with the intention of the highest good guiding us ...providing a light for us to follow when we lose our way...when we feel afraid...may we walk beside each other offering strength and love.

Namaste,
Summer

2007-08-13T07:31:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

I haven't written on the blog for a while...I sent out the general email instead this time...as most of you know my Ca-125 was at 4 the last time...very good news...I just met with Dr. Bahador again to discuss our book. Although, it's going to be a long process...it's going to happen...I am working on both books at the same time...

I have also come to realize that I have several food allergies...this discovery has been over the course of several years ...it's also come to my attention again as I discover symptoms that come and go and seem to cause other symptoms that are of more concern.

Years ago...I experienced ongoing stomach aches...these stomach aches were the cause of several hospital visits as well as numerous expensive tests...only to be told that nothing was wrong with me...or ...perhaps I was under a lot of stress...it wasn't until I was in my 30's that a regular family Dr. in Del Mar...came up with lactose intolerance...after experimenting with dairy enzymes...my symptoms went away.

Little did I know at that time that other allergies and confusion about my body...my diet...would follow. All of this time, I was living a healthy lifestyle or so I thought. How would one really know...assuming we're doing our best...reading about health....choosing what we are told is healthy...or as Maya Angelou says..."When you know better, you do better." That is at least how I would step one foot in front of the other.

About 15 years ago or so...I started to get what I thought were spider bites all over my hips...thighs buttocks and sometimes around my elbows...I even went to Dermatologists... I was sometimes told that I had staff infections...maybe from the excess sweating and being exposed to bacteria in a gym environment...and other times I was treated for spider bites...it was very confusing and frustrating as I thought I had all of these spiders in my clothes and yet could never find them...it was a mystery that came and went but mostly came...this has been ongoing even now.

Then... 5 years ago...I was diagnosed with Hep C and Melanoma within weeks of the other...I had Melanoma Surgery and was treated for Hep C with interferon and riboviron for 6 months...I have been free of both Melanoma and Help C for 5 years. At the time of my Hep C testing...extensive blood tests were run and I was told that an earlier diagnosis of Celiac/ Sprue (gluten allergy) was mis-diagnosed and that meant I really did not have Celiac/ Sprue. I was relieved but not really effected as I didn't really follow the wheat free/ gluten free diet anyway...not sure why...I was young and I guess my symptoms were so vague that I didn't really pay attention. My original diagnosis was done through an intestinal biopsy which I now have come to know is the most reliable. It's probable that I truly do have Celiac/Sprue.

I continued to experience things like bloating...the occasional bites or staff or ? ...all at the same time I was going through peri-menopause which led to assumptions about symptoms that continued for years... The symptoms would come and go until I began to experience deep pelvic bone pain which now we know would lead me to discover Ovarian Cancer.

Another interesting note: While I was working in the gym environment, I was enjoying body building and the body building diets...I was drinking a vitamin drink that had Nutrasweet...I heated this drink every morning for breakfast for a few years...recent research links ovarian cancer and Nutrasweet...another interesting link...what I know now is worth so much ....we just do our best. During that time I also experienced many bladder and kidney infections due to the extreme diets...and high protein at that time. Not sure what is related or what is coincidental...but interesting nonetheless.

Going back...earlier symptoms from a young girl...severe stomach aches...stomach ulcer diagnosed at 5 years old...I was a sensitive little girl...took on the woes of the world at a very young age...many of the theories when I was young was my stomach aches were a result of my mental state...smart ....sweet but oh so sensitive...lots of reasons for this sensitivity...will go into that at another time...all those years mis-diagnosed ...I had a dairy allergy...WOW!!!

For years I ate more soy products ...substituting for the lack of dairy...I raised my son on more soy and healthy clean food...I've always been interested in how to improve my health and my diet ...when you start your life as a little sick girl ...you are more inclined to search for answers...alternatives....lots of questions....I also continued to eat grains and eggs ect....occasionally I would try a diet here and there that would exclude certain foods either for cleansing purposes or just for fun to discover more information about myself...I also suffered from severe migraines...I don't remember when they first began...I know I had them for the last 20 years ...so for sure they started around 30 years old. I have now tracked the migraines to a Soy allergy.

I have recently discovered that the so called spider bites are allergic reactions to eggs and possibly gluten.

Here's my crazy list of allergies:

Dairy...Soy...Eggs...Gluten...Wheat...

Cats...Latex...Tar...

Medications: Demerol, Morphine, Penicillin, Vicodin, Valium, Codeine, sensitive to Fentanyl

These discoveries may or may not be linked to Cancer or other illnesses...it's very interesting...I will continue to explore and notice relationships so that I can help myself and other's live a happier and healthier life.

At this time I am going to stay on a diet that is gluten free, dairy free, soy free and wheat free. I am also not eating any fish at this time. I was including fish in my diet recently but decided to experiment without eating it for some period of time. So...I am eating a diet full of raw fruits and veggies and about 20 % cooked . Soups ...brown rice...sweet potatoes...steamed veggies...etc. It's interesting to find out how much gluten is in everything....so this transition is as we speak ...learning a new although not that different of a diet regimen. If any of you have any comments or ideas...let me know...perhaps some of you have noticed relationships with your diet and your health...I would be interested in hearing about it.

It's been challenging for me as I don't want to be this sensitive....to anything...It takes me back to that overly sensitive little girl and makes me feel weak. It doesn't really matter for it's happening to me anyway...I don't want to continue to be sick so I am committed to doing whatever is necessary to be healthy.

In addition to the diet , the most important... is my attitude toward all of this ...my attitude to life in general.

Fortunately, I have discovered tools that allow me to rest my thoughts peacefully...to embrace my life and appreciate everything that happens to me...the good and the bad ...to allow myself the idea that I don't have to be attached to any of it...as challenging as that is...it's possible...

Through my commitment to yoga and the mind/body fitness that I do for myself and other's ...I notice a difference...through Qigong...I can create an awareness...an energy that supports me ...through my ongoing studies of Buddhism, Taoism as well as other influences that bring me to those deeper layers ...I notice a difference....I drive slower...I get upset less...I'm calmer overall....and when I am angry...I move through it quicker...

I am happy. I love and appreciate my life....for as long as it's meant for me to be alive. Sometimes ...I am afraid to think I might not be here forever....I feel afraid that it might be time...none of us really know when it's our time...so the only thing to do is to LIVE well with honesty and compassion....I know this for sure.

I am collecting stories and ideas for my books...if any of you feel you have something to share, I can interview you or/and you can email me or mail me any of your thoughts...please do this soon as I'm busy organizing my blog book now...if you have suggestions or experiences that you feel you would like other's to know about...please share.

When I re-read this blog entry...I can see how sharing all of this can sound somewhat depressing...I lived these experiences and challenges and often times it was depressing...the challenges continue...for what ever reason I am facing the things I face...in Buddhism they would explain it as Karma...in other traditions...something else...I do know that I have peeled away the layers that cover us and protect us from living life fully...these experiences have taught me to be more honest with myself and others...to allow the layers of pain and confusion to be a catalyst for a deeper understanding of life...mine and others. I am no longer depressed by my experiences.

I am always here for you with love and compassion. I'm willing and open to know how to improve my life as well as walk beside you as a companion in this world that can sometimes make us feel alone and stressed. We can walk beside each other with strength and ongoing deep wisdom.

With love,
Summer

2007-07-18T08:45:00.000-07:00

" Love's gift cannot be given, it waits to be accepted"
Rabindranath Tagore

" To Understand everything is to forgive everything "
Buddha

" Our heart center opens as a flower opens to embrace all of life.
With compassion for others our wounds are healed and we can joyfully
participate in the sorrows of the world."
Chungliang Al Huang

2007-07-15T21:52:00.000-07:00

Greetings,

How are you? How has your Summer been so far???

I have been acclimating to the new chemo regimen...sometimes feeling a bit of neuropathy and sometimes... most often feeling wonderful.

I have been and will continue to study and take more yoga and broaden my Buddhist and Taoist studies. I have been feeling very centered and organized.

I have also organized the beginning stages of my book(s) ...this is all good..

Just checking in with all of you and of course sending love..

Namaste,
Summer

2007-06-29T21:11:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

I have GREAT news!!!!

My CA-125 is still 5... at this time I am still Cancer FREE... the focus is to maintain my status so that the possibility of re-occurrence becomes a smaller and smaller percentage...eventually...not possible at all.

I am healthy and clear...the transparency of clean cells is what I see...that's all that matters today...living in the moment...day to day...surrendering to the blessing of what having an illness can offer you...the wisdom that comes with coming face to face with death.

This is truly a gift....no matter what happens...my eyes have been opened to a whole new world...I accept this path of knowledge...I welcome the experience...

through my book with Dr. Bahador...we can offer love and compassion to all who connect with us... without Cancer ...I would not have met this extraordinary healer who just happens to have trained within a traditional western model... who he is inside...what he transmits is an openness ...a curiosity that what he knows from training is not all he wants to understand and share with us has patients...he is strict...he is true to what is right and wrong within the legal parameters...he listens and trusts his patients...when I am in the office...waiting for my turn...the rooms with other waiting patients are quiet until he steps into the room and there is laughter ...then sitting alone ...we all start laughing too....it's hilarious...we all know it will be our turn to laugh....and maybe through the laughter and release...tears will come and the entire cycle starts again...we laugh...we cry....we share our deepest fears and we are most often lifted to our highest possibilities...I am so lucky to have caregivers who help me with my healing...it works...

None of us knows how death will come...it may be from the disease that we're given...it may be from some unknown circumstance down the road...I know of several young people who were taken by car accidents... no time to say good by...no time to clean up our "stuff". Perhaps some of us would prefer this type of exit...I am blessed with the reminder that death is simply a part of life and while I don't know the when...I can certainly control what happens during the remainder of my life.I can control what I do and what I say, day to day...moment by moment.

These are just some of the ways that help me live a clearer life...the possibility for healing:

Speaking your truth that is useful...opening your heart and sharing your inner most thoughts...telling the truth that is freeing ...saying you're sorry for mistakes...for behavior that is not...was not worthy ...spending time with friends or strangers who also lift each other and wish the highest good for themselves and the planet...allow for imperfections...then do your very best to clean them up with out being rigid or acting out of guilt...allow for growth...allow for the space to fall ...to be humbled...to be grateful for the lesson...then when you know better...do better. Let love and kindness emanate from you... within you...wake up with this grateful meti heart... and then go to sleep with the knowing that compassion is in you and awaits you when you awake to another beautiful day.

The current plan of one year of Taxol ...once every 4 weeks...has begun..11 more to go!!!! Yesterday was a great day...it was Dawn's ( chemo nurse) and Dr. Bahahdor's birthdays...we celebrated and shared much happiness. Shannon ( awesome staff front desk girl) bought me a vegan chocolate slice of cake so I could participate ....the real cake was an ice cream chocolate cake from cold stone...looked awesome...everyone said it was awesome...I loved mine as well...I love going to chemo...now calling it " Chemo Kamp" (miss-spelling is on purpose)...at least that's what Dan and I call it...we have so much fun...we also have deep and meaningful conversations...life changing conversations...

I am in a much better place in my heart...in my place in life from having Cancer...from having this experience...the wonderful people that I have met and continue to meet would not be in my life without this diagnosis. This is an opportunity to wake up and do and be all of the things that have brought me up to this point ...cancer has not been my only frightening obstacle...as life continues to offer challenges...

we have a choice with our life's experiences...our accumulative wisdom...to step up and rise up to the challenge with love in our hearts in the midst of the fear ...we can step up to the challenge with compassion for ourselves and others...even when and especially when we have a moment or two of doubt and pity and just when we're ready to give up...or give in ....we can crawl out of this abyss and find our place again...

What makes you happy??? What can you do for others??? How can you offer your heart in the purest way??? Are you giving and then angry about it??? Find that place where it's truly pure...it's possible.

We can look out of the window that is clear and see the beautiful clouds and the pouring rain that brings childhood smells ...the smell of concrete after the first rain...the smell of wet grass...the clouds that look like animals...the blue sky permeating between the clouds...or we can look out of A cloudy window and see something very different..you may not even have a chance to notice the clouds from a clear perception due to lack of clarity from the first view...the clouds and the rain are still there...our interpretation of the cloudy sky ...the rainy day...is not filled with light...instead...there is no hope ....no sense of smells ...so sense of anything but dread...when you find yourself here...reach out and ask for help...so many people are there for you and you may not know it...you may not realize that you are surrounded by loving souls who would wrap their arms around you and lift you to a better place. Do not give up!!!

I meet both types of people when I'm at Chemo Kamp...I meet all types of people when I'm out in the day to day living life the way we all spend our time...I learn so much from every one's interpretation...we all have so much to learn and even more to share...

I welcome your interpretations of your life...How do you handle obstacles???

Once I experience a few more of the chemo's of this maintenance plan...I will feel more comfortable renting space again and bringing back our group energy...I am so grateful for your ongoing support and love. It has and continues to hold up up during some turbulent times...you have reminded me of the power of that love.

Namaste,
Summer

2007-06-23T18:44:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

It's amazing how quickly time flies when there is a break between chemo's...it's also a bit strange. I have come to accept and have easily adapted to the rhythm of the chemo days. As I prepare for the 9th chemo...or now #1 chemo of the one year plan of just the Taxol, I am reminded of real life. Life goes on when you have Cancer...people are people..Just when you think that kindness and love surround you when you have an illness that offers an opportunity to feel supported or to be the person supporting...real life emerges and the very opposite happens...I know this intellectually...I just feel so sad when it happens...

I have something very sad and bizarre to share with you. Certainly for me... this has been a lesson in compassion ....material for my book...a voice that can be shared with other's whom may find themselves in the same situation...either by the person giving the vibe ...or the unfortunate one receiving it. Or perhaps that should be reversed. For someone to be able to say and be this way...is an example of unfortunate...of what it must feel like to be so unhappy that you are able to be selfish and thoughtless...this is what happened to me recently...

I spend a few times per week with a group of people whom I enjoy very much...(it's not my personal class)...for reasons to protect innocent friends and acquaintances...I've decided not to share where this occurred.
There was one person in the group who began treating me differently a while back...at first I thought she was having a bad day... and then a bad week and then...???? I began to notice that she was only treating me this way and was still very loving and friendly to everyone else.
I was puzzled and confused...one day she was open and concerned and supportive of my situation with cancer...(we also share another friend with cancer and although we were not good friends...we have known each other for over 10 years and shared group energy in a positive way)...until .....one day...out of the blue...a different person emerged.... a person who became rude and cruel and heartless.I emailed her and asked her if she was ok...I shared many loving comments and showed concern for her...she decided not to respond ....after about 3 weeks following my email...then...

she shared with a mutual friend that the reason she was behaving differently towards me was because "I was offensive because I was bald."

WOW!!!! After several emails between myself and this person...it was clear that she was offended by my baldness because I reminded her of what is wrong in her life. She was aware that I am bald due to chemotherapy.She basically said to " F" off without saying it...she really doesn't care how I feel or why I'm bald...she is only concerned about how it makes her feel. She is so uncomfortable...she can't look at me or participate with me.

I was shocked ...I am shocked. I also realized that anyone who can lash out towards someone who is ill like this must be very unhappy...as hurt as I was...I am now feeling very sad for her. I decided to share the essence of this story with you ...just in case ...you are treating someone in your life like this...perhaps you have had a situation when you were selfish and thoughtless...I have looked at my behavior much more closely...a time to check in.

Then I thought about how lucky I am to have only this little pain to deal with ...I just finished reading " A Thousand Splendid Suns" by Khaled Hosseini..the author of " Kite Runner" After reading this book about the unforgettable stories of the people of Afghanistan ...the heart wrenching lives of the women of Afghanistan...yet...another reminder of just how fortunate I am to live here...to live here even with Cancer...compared to what these people continue to have to live through..I am not only ok...I will never forget the beauty of this book..I welcome those moments to be reminded of how truly difficult life can be. One of the women in the book was given a caesarian section without anesthesia or any medicine at all...we are all so lucky to be here...although I have cancer...or ...had cancer...I have the best Doctor's... the top hospitals...etc. I am so touched and deeply moved by this book...as I was or maybe even more than Kite Runner and all of the other books and movies that try to teach us these lessons.

Regardless of where we are in the world...regardless of our hardships....we are all reaching out for love...we are all reaching out to teach and receive compassion...all of these lessons....are really opportunities to do better...we can all look at our own lives and do better...if you are hurting others with your biting words and crappy behavior...STOP IT...it takes less energy to find it in your heart to generously reach out and show others that you care...let us be an example...not from arrogance...not because we get attention from our kindness...but because we truly care...we can live from a higher consciousness of humanity...we have to wake up....not just for ourselves...but we can start small ...and then who knows...anything is possible...

Always sending love...thank you for the reminders...as painful as life can be...it could also be so much worse...I am forever humbled...

May we all do better,
Love,
Summer

2007-06-15T21:51:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

I'm doing well and feeling grateful for the long break between chemo #8 and the one year plan ahead of me. I have been studying and building my inner strength. Every day I feel more and more in touch with the quiet place of surrender. I am motivated and excited about writing my books. I have met with my editor and spent an hour belly laughing at possible book titles for the blog book and continued to let the creative juices flow for the names of the chapter titles.

I have been studying Qigong...Yoga...Taoism...Buddhism and have enjoyed some beautiful hikes . The private " Spirit Tone" class has been uplifting for me as well as the wonderful group of dedicated students who meet with me twice per week. My home based business is also rewarding and continues to inspire me with energy and real life normalcy.

I'll be meeting with Dr. Bahador to discuss the book we will write together. There is so much to look forward to ..so much to share ...

As I continue to heal...I am more and more confident that it's truly all about the love....the love we show ourselves...the compassion and kindness we show one another...it's always a choice to be kind...to be loving...to be patient...to drive a little slower...

I look forward to teaching Yoga and Spirit Dance this fall...I'll keep you posted on possibilities....I'm looking for wonderful places to rent...if you have any ideas...please pass them on...

With love,
Summer

2007-06-05T06:15:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

I recently finished my 8th round of chemo...it took 3 weeks to complete and I just had a white count shot this past Saturday...the side effects from the shot were nothing compared to the past shots...I'm either getting used to it or it's much easier without chemo at the same time. As you all know...the next chemo will be June 29th and will continue for one year at one time per month intervals.

I've been working and reading and gathering thoughts for my books. If anyone would like to contribute your personal thoughts and experiences ...please start working on that now and send them to me asap... send me an email and I'll forward my address...these thoughts can be about how my illness...my challenges have effected you or you may want to share your own thoughts about illness and ways that you lift yourself...you may want to share about what our relationship means to you...etc. I look forward to receiving your personal thoughts!

How have you been? I always love hearing from you...you can email or blog...Have a wonderful week...

Love,
Summer

2007-05-16T11:20:00.000-07:00

...from Gladys to some of her friends who were her support during her experience with Cancer...she wrote this March 13th 2002...3 months and one day before her passing....as I re-read the words she wrote...I realize that most of us facing illness...possibly life threatening illnesses... that we ...if we're blessed, have this special love in us that wants to share with our loved ones...I pass this on as a reminder to always live each day as if it were your last....again...not in a morbid way...but in a compassionate way to share with others... to honor ourselves...to be mindful of everyday. This is Gladys' letter ...may you receive the love from her as many of us did at that time...I don't want to ever forget her life ...her importance in the world. Love to you all.

" Dear Friends,

As I journey into a place where I've never been and that is so unfamiliar to me, a journey that sometimes gets lonely, sometimes sadness sets in and my spirit and energy momentarily take a downward spiral, I then instead think of it as an important part of my evolutionary journey, a gift that can help me learn and grow. And what I'm realizing is that those around me, family, friends and caring and sharing others are also given an opportunity to learn and grow.

And I am not afraid because I have the love and support of so many who truly care. For those of you that I've known for many years and we've shared many significant moments together, and for those of you who are also a part of my life and whom I have yet to meet one day, I can't help but feel so blessed.

My heart smiles as I think of all of you and Especially a very special
" angel spirit" that's you Summer who has been with me through all of this from the very beginning. I honor each and everyone of you, I always keep you in my prayers. I give thanks to God now for all the good that I have and all the good things to come. I give thanks everyday for the privilege of having you as my friends. I wish you all the Love your hearts can hold and many moments of Joy.
Thank you for You!!

So Dance away and let your Beautiful spirits soar.

Be Happy and Healthy Always, My Friends,

Lovingly,
Gladys"

...this letter was re-written exactly as she wrote it ...no editing...

Love to you all,
Summer

2007-05-16T10:50:00.000-07:00

remembering Gladys through the writing of her daughter Sharmaine...this was written for her memorial...may we always remember what her life brought to us...

"Knowing

And you asked what I have learned?
And I say lots of things...
and most of those things I really don't remember
Now ask me what I know
And I say...this is who I'll never forget...
A woman who wasn't impressed by things
It's because of her that I know things can't make you happy
A woman who had subtle wisdom
because of her I know it's best to listen
I know a woman who was beautiful
It's because of her that I know how beauty is felt
I know a woman who was kind
because of her I know not to judge
A woman who was honest
because of her I know to live the truth
I know a woman who wasn't too proud
It's because of her that I know how to forgive
I know a woman who was courageous
It's because of her that I know fear has no place
I know a woman who knew she was worthy
It's because of her that I know to never be complacent
I know a woman who had substance
It's because of her that I know not to waste time on foolish things
A woman who loved her children
because of her I know love is above all things
I know a woman who transcended race
It's because of her that I'm here
I know a woman who saw good in all things
It's because of her that I know all things have purpose
I know a woman whose love was real
because of her I know love has no conditions
I know a woman who believed in humanity
It's because of her that I know never to lose hope
I know a woman who believed
it's because of her that I have peace knowing she's with God

And you asked me what I've learned...
And I'll tell you what I know...
I know a woman who saw me take my first breath
And it's because of her that I was able to see God take her last

I prayed for healing...
but my mother passed
Now there's clarity...
since my mother passed
Healing abounds...
Because my mother passed

Some things hands touch but don't grasp
Eyes stare and barely see
Life is swallowed but the taste is never known

I love you until the end of time and after that ...you will always be my Mom

R.I.P...Sharmaine

I love you Gladys...I love you Sharmaine...I love you Brea....thank you for those special years
Love,
Summer

2007-05-16T08:01:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

Gladys has been on my mind so much lately...spending so much time with her as she faced Cancer . I also met a wonderful woman who also has Cancer and shares a common bond with me and with Gladys. She has the same oncologist as Gladys did...I sat with Gladys and her family in almost every Dr.s visit and had realized then what a horrible Dr. this person was ...knowing this even more because of Dr. Bahador. There is a way to speak to your patients...even when....especially when you know your patient is going to die. Her comments to Gladys and now my new friend are cruel and seemingly deliberate. It's almost as if she enjoys telling her patients to get their affairs in order. Or with my new friend...

"it doesn't matter that you have this new tumor...you're going to die anyway"
...what happened to compassion??? Death can be a beautiful experience...some are not able to move into that realm with peace ...however...for a Dr. to take that away is just not ok. There are some Dr.s who are brilliant and should be in research not with patients day to day...if you have a Dr. who doesn't believe in you ...who doesn't lift you ...who doesn't listen to you...who doesn't really care if you live or die....FIND ANOTHER DR. !!!!!! I feel so lucky to have met Dr. Bahador...even more lucky to have the monthly...sometimes weekly experience of going to his office...being lifted by his staff...being lifted by Dr. Bahador...watching him care deeply for each and every patient...there are Dr.s out there who care about you ...who are just as much healers as any alternative medicine Dr. or caregiver...I know I will die someday...perhaps it will be from this perhaps from something non-related to Cancer...when I ask Dr. Bahador to tell me the truth...he will tell me with love and compassion...he will care that it's my time...
I will be sharing with you in the next several blogs...words written for Gladys for her memorial...words shared by Gladys months before her passing...I decided to share this with you because the experience of illness is so special...even more special is the experience of death...not in a morbid give up way...but in a way that is beautiful and loving ...for the person dying and for those of us left to weep ...to say good by...and what has happened to me with the people in my life whom have passed....is this depth of love and support from them...the way I can feel their energy is far greater than when they were alive...I feel guided by their non human energy...not limited by time or space...they fill me up ....I know I'm not alone.
...written from Gladys' memorial ...

" You would know the secret of death. But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life? The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light. If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life. For life and death are one, even as a river and the sea are one.

In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your secret knowledge of the beyond. And the like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring. Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity. Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honor. Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king? Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?

For what is to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from it's restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?

Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing. And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb. And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance."

Kahlil Gibran-" The Prophet"

2007-05-15T21:52:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

I just completed my 8th round of Chemo using the 2 drug therapy...CarboplatinTaxol...the Taxol portion will be distributed in 3rds starting with last friday and continuing the next 2 fridays..I will be able to take a 4 week break and will resume chemotherapy using only the Taxol for one year starting June 29th. This 8th round made me a little more sick than #7 however...with that said...still doing very well...ready to work again tomorrow with clients.

I wanted to acknowledge Mother's Day over the weekend and realized on Sunday that I didn't have the strength to share what was in my heart. Mothers Day has taken on an additional meaning for me as I share what my friend Gladys shared with me in 2002. Gladys as many of you know passed away May 14th from Colon Cancer...I had the honor of spending time with her and her family during a 2 year period as she experienced her life with Cancer ...2 days before she passed away...we celebrated Mother's Day together ...this was her card to me on May 12th,2002

the card said...

"Comfortable Friends"

It's so easy to tell you
just about anything
whenever we share Mom stories
or confide in each other,
I can count on you
to be sensitive and supportive.
I want you to know
How much I value that closeness.

Happy Mother's Day"

Gladys' words...

"To my special special friend. I haven't got the words to express just how special you really are. I love trading Mom stories with you whether they're happy or sad. I love you sooooooooooooo much. I wish you all the health and love and vitality that you deserve. You are my special gift of light each and every day!!!

Peace and Joy Always,
Gladys

...this day was a day when Gladys was losing control of her words...trying to speak but was not able to be understood some of the time...I knew at that moment that Gladys was going to pass...we could all feel it...Gladys and I shared a special time in both of our lives...we tried to help each other be better Mothers by sharing stories of our own lives that lifted us and often times caused us to feel powerless and unable to solve the mistakes or misunderstandings of our children. We shared how much we loved(love) our children...How the blessings of loving another the way a Mother can love her child is a gift that we would never take for granted. She loved being a Mother more than anything...she was so proud of her daughters....Brea and Sharmaine...as she looks down on them now...she must be so amazed at their beauty and intelligence. Her spirit radiates in both of them. I am so blessed to watch as Brea prepares to graduate from college and as Sharmaine grows her 3rd precious child in her body and continues her film career.

Gladys,

Thank you for teaching me the real beauty of Mother's Day...with Hallmark pressure on our heels to be this special day which sets us all up for disaster...enough cards...enough flowers...enough lunches...brunches ...dinners....we lose sight of the most precious gift....the gift of loving a child and watching that child grow into an amazing human being....even with all of the ups and downs...the searing pain when we are so worried about them...unconditional love for what has come out of our bodies and through our hearts...I am forever grateful to you and to all Mother's!!!!

Happy Mother's Day to all Mothers

Love,
Summer

2007-05-15T12:30:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

My dear friend and yours...Fatma Hanson has just lost her father...he lived in Algeria and her heart is in so much pain right now...please send her and her husband and children the love you have shown me and continue to show me...I know how powerful your support is....if you would like her address ...please email me at spiritsummer@cox.net ...I will blog soon with updates ...Love you...Summer

2007-05-02T13:01:00.000-07:00

" Clearing my mind through the backdrop of pain,

Releasing the preconditioned agenda

while painting my life a new color."

Summer Autio

2007-04-30T15:06:00.000-07:00

" if I fail to practice patience
hindered by my own deficiency

I am myself the obstacle to
gaining merit,

yet so close at hand."
Pema Chodron

" Four Joys of Patience

1. Patience is stainless

2. Patience brings happiness

3. Patience is praised by the holy ones....Buddha nature etc.

4. Patience is the perfect way to help others"

Pema Chodron

thank you for the wonderful cards and well wishes for my birthday....I had a wonderful time at the celebration with Master Gu on Saturday...due to the chemo on friday and a white count shot on saturday...I didn't feel well enough to celebrate more...so we came home and I rested all weekend...another day to celebrate will present itself as I also continue to embrace that I am still alive...

I also just received news about my MRI from this past Friday...I am cancer free from the MRI as well as my ca-125...I could feel the healing has worked and is working...nice to know the test results agree...Many blessing to all of you...

I have much to think about each day and I love to write and I love to read spiritual work...I was thinking about these words and came up with a new way of thinking about CPR...CPR for the soul

C Calm

P Patience

R Release

Use this for moments when you are about ready to react to something...then perhaps you'll pause enough to respond with honor to any situation or emotion ...

Sending love and gratitude for all that you have done for me...I have now stepped into my 50th year of life because of so much love ...

Namaste,
Summer

2007-04-20T11:05:00.000-07:00

On my way to chemo #2 Taxol....new regime...just wanted to say hi !!!! Have a beautiful day...Love Summer

2007-04-16T22:37:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

As you know..my chemo schedule has been slightly altered. On friday the 13th... a lucky day for me was chemo # 7 with the combination of the two drugs...I was given 1/2 dose of the white count shot on Saturday. I think this lesser dose was so much easier on me regarding the side effects from this shot that are usually very challenging...much more tolerable this time. The next 2 fridays I will go in and have a 1/3rd of the dose of Taxol instead of all the Taxol at one time. More running around ..more Dr's appointments ....but doable...if you read the previous blog you will understand the 8th cycle...I will have June off then start the one year in July.

My 5oth birthday is Saturday April 28th...I will begin the celebration by attending Tai Chi and Qigong Day in Carlsbad...following will be a level one workshop for saturday afternoon and Sunday with Master Gu. If anyone would like to join me for the earlier celebration...I will be there to celebrate my life ...I will also be repeating the level one workshop with Master Gu and friends.

8th World Taichi and Qigong Day
Wisdom Healing Spirial
April 28th 9-11:30 am
Magee Park(Beach Ave and Carlsbad Blvd. (101)

www.chicenter.com for details

I also want to remind you about the Spirit Tone class that will be held at a private residence for 11 classes starting May 1st...this class is now full. Thank you for your quick response.If you are still interested in this class ...please email me to be placed on a waiting list. There will be more classes to follow...if you're interested in future classes...please email me at spiritsummer@cox.net ...the other classes will begin again soon...most likely in the fall or late summer.

" Joy is the net of love by which you catch souls"
Mother Teresa

2007-04-12T10:52:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

There is so much to share with you!!!

As most of you know, I went to an important meeting with Dr. Bahador yesterday...this was a meeting to discuss how to proceed. We have a new plan.

Great News continues.... my ca-125 is down to 5....AMAZING!!!!!

The new plan:

Return to the original plan of 8 cycles of chemo with the two drugs of Carboplatin and Taxol...only with a slight variation...

This friday...I will receive the full dose of carboplatin and only a 3rd of the Taxol....I will return one week later to receive the second dose of Taxol...and then a 3rd time for the last dose....one week break and then repeat this cycle exactly until the end of June....July will be a full break from all treatment and then in August we will begin the one year of Taxol only once per month....there is concern that the Taxol will produce peripheral nueropathy and the above suggested alternative treatment may be helpful in that area...of course all treatment is subject to change due to unforeseen circumstances.

While this has been an interesting time for me and for those close to me...I am finding that it really has been OK...I am learning so much !!!!

...from the words of Pema Chodron...

"ordinary human suffering has value. It can humble us and teach
us compassion. The pain we go through while changing our old habits
is not only worth tolerating...

it is worth celebrating!!!!!!!"
Much love to all,
Summer

2007-04-09T06:40:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

Starting May 1st I will be teaching Spirit Tone at a private residence in Fair Banks Ranch...if you are interested and you didn't get the email...please let me know asap...this class will be on tues/thurs @ 9:15 am...pre- registration is required.

This Wednesday I have an important meeting with my Dr...Dr. Bahador to evaluate my current and future treatments....I have lots of questions as we come to this juncture of treatment and healing...as you know...the plan is to continue chemo for one year with just Taxol...

I have been hiking ....biking indoors and pilates reformer as well as pilates mat at home...I just started doing Yoga again at home ...just for 45 min....it felt great....my incision has healed well...I am able to do upward facing dog without pain...yeah!!!

I am interested in selling my wonderful road bike....Specialized Rubouix...if anyone is interested let me know...I also want to sell my mountain bike....I can offer details to anyone interested...

Chemo is this friday ....chemo gatherings have become a healing time for me...very positive ....

I turn 50 in less than a month now...WOW...time is such an interesting view ...this right of passage is very meaningful for me...We can all continue to BLOG in our 100's...what will be available to us then???

Sending continued love to all,
Summer

2007-03-25T19:05:00.000-07:00

Guess what?????

I arched my spine...I was able to stretch at my incision site from top to bottom for the first time without pain!!!!! YEAH!!!!

Was also able to walk on the beach this weekend...both Saturday and Sunday...what a beautiful weekend....

Take care,
Summer

2007-03-24T09:02:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

Saturday morning ...over one week since my chemo...this last one was my 6th out of the original 8 planned...the new plan is to stop at 6 with the 2 drug combo and and continue with just one drug " Taxol" for one year...this starts in April.

This past chemo was the kindest so far...It seems the white count shot is causing more side effects than the chemo...the shot is always on a saturday night after a friday chemo ...usually Sunday and Monday are not so great....I still felt the aftermath on those days....just a bit easier....WHEW!!! I even started working earlier this time....YEAH!!!!

I look forward to seeing you ...feel free to email me and set up a way to connect....in spite of me only working part time....I don't have much spare time...it's amazing how time consuming this entire experience is....however...I would love to connect for a walk on the beach or a walk in my neighborhood...or ....a cup of tea at Pannikin???? I miss you all so much....please know you're in my thoughts always....

Have a wonderful weekend...I feel great...continued thanks to those of you bringing food....what a special gift...it's been very helpful...

Much love,
Summer

2007-03-16T07:37:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

I'm on my way to my 6th treatment...my nurse called me yesterday with the blood results for this week....

GREAT NEWS AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My ca-125 is down again to 7...from 3,350....they tell me this number can start to go up and down...so not to worry if it does..they want to see it stay under 15...

Have a great day...send me good energy this week...

Much love,
Summer

2007-03-13T06:46:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

It's been almost a week since my last post and I'm still feeling great!!! I've been working part time training clients at my house which seems to be going well...I feel strong and healthy.

My incision is healing nicely and although it's a long scar...it is really pretty...if it's a right of passage into living an even better life...I'll take it !!!!

I've been hiking and I added Pilates ....I was so sore after my first Pilates...OUGH I also do Qigong and although, I'm always living the yoga lifestyle...I haven't done postures since my last surgery...I had just started back when I had the last setback...so...looking forward to adding yoga postures back into my regimen again. I have also returned to tap dancing...YEAH!!!

I look much better now...not sickly skinny...I've gained back some muscle which makes me look much better...WHEW...I always thought I wanted to be lean but that was a whole new scary world of skinny...so happy to look healthy again...even with my bald head...which I love !!!

My next chemo is this Friday ...March 16th...I'll be out of commission for a week and then feeling good again ...

Let me know how you are...I'm always interested in your life!!!!

Much love to you,
Summer

2007-03-07T06:22:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends,

... feeling amazing and wishing you a great day....always sending love...

Take care,
Summer

2007-03-02T18:21:00.000-08:00

Today is Friday and I feel great!!!!

I have walked several times this week 2 hours plus each time and I even went to tap dance on thursday and kept up the entire time...

I also have worked thursday and friday training clients and will continue throughout next week...

Next chemo is March 16th ....this is the 6th one coming up....it's hard to believe that I started this journey in September of 2006...surgery in October and so on...and now....looking at all of this through a different lens...

Sending all of you lots of love...always...

My husband turns 50 on Sunday so send him lots of love too!!!

My 50th is in April...WOW!!!!

...kind of bitter sweet...no worries about turning 50 ...just sad that my husband and I won't be going to China to study Qigong and healing from that perspective...energy medicine and more...we were going to celebrate our birthdays together for 30 days in August of this year...how quickly things change...so instead I'm....(we're) celebrating just being alive and appreciative of life.

Enjoy this beautiful weekend...

Love,

Summer

2007-02-27T12:46:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends,

Although , the chemo side effects were kinder to me this time...the symptoms began as soon as I returned on Friday afternoon...the shot on Saturday to raise my white count was not so easy...by Sunday and even worse on Monday...I was not feeling too well...still....better than before...I know I will feel better soon...today is already a huge improvement!!

I trust all is well with all of you...thank you for the blog entries and the emails...it means so much to me...

Much love,
Summer

2007-02-21T18:04:00.000-08:00

Great News!!!!!

My Ca-125 is now an 8...normal is 35....mine started at 3,350...went to 350 after surgery...went to 9.5 ....then to 10 and then back down to 8...WOW...this is really good news!!!!!!

Our healing energy is working!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!! My next chemo is this friday...a week of rest to follow and then back to training clients and feeling good!!!

Love,
Summer

2007-02-19T09:47:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends,

Enjoy the cleansing rain....sending love...Summer

2007-02-14T19:48:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day !!!!!

It's all about the love....Summer

2007-02-13T07:58:00.000-08:00

Good Morning !!!!

Still going strong....better everyday....Have a wonderful week!!!

Love,
Summer

2007-02-11T07:15:00.000-08:00

Good Morning!!!!

It's Sunday morning and I feel great!!! Hope to hear from you soon!!!!

Sharing the love...

Summer

2007-02-09T06:30:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends,

Yesterday was a great day for me ...my energy was back up and I was able to drive and run errands and actually stay out of the house for awhile. I am still healing post surgery...by March 1st, I should only be dealing with the chemo again.

I wore my wig yesterday and 6 people asked me where I got my hair done...WOW....it made my day!!!!

Thanks for the love,
Summer

2007-02-04T07:04:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends,

I survived the last 4 days...although, it was not fun,,,it was not as bad as before...at least I am up able to blog...the intense nausea has prevented me from communicating....I'll try to get back to everyone who has reached out...I will feel better today...

Have a wonderful day...speak to you soon!!!

Love,
Summer

2007-02-01T11:22:00.000-08:00

still feeling great ....I'll take my shot tonight...maybe I'll get lucky and have less symptoms...so far so good...hope you are all having a wonderful day...Much love...Summer...I miss you

2007-01-31T15:10:00.002-08:00

Dear Friends,

I just returned from chemo #4 ...this would had been the 1/2 way marker of the total 8...as of today...due to the low ca-125 numbers and the and the great blood work that shows great health....I will now have 6 chemos in the way I'm having them now...the 7th one will begin a 12 month once per month chemo schedule with only one drug...much easier to tolerate and less toxic overall. Even though, the chemo will last longer ....it's still a positive sign....as long as I stay healthy....this is the plan...of course, as we have already seen...anything can happen....let's hope I can have a smooth course for a while...see you soon!!! Love...Summer

2007-01-31T15:10:00.001-08:00

2007-01-31T15:10:00.000-08:00

2007-01-30T13:16:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends,

I 'm getting stronger every day...I even went to the movies...of course it was before 1pm....a whole new world...I even trained 3 clients so far....by February 5th...I will slowly be adding clients back into the cycle again !!!

My blood counts are still showing the CA-125 at 10 or below....even better news....usually a surgery like I just had will stir up the cells and sometimes show a higher ca-125 number ....mine has stayed low...while I still realize that these tests are not always accurate...I will still take the good news....tomorrow will mark the 1/2 way marker of the total 8 cycles....

Continue to love each other,

Love,
Summer

2007-01-26T19:53:00.000-08:00

Greetings Friends,

I am just now feeling better...like myself again...a few more days and I will be much stronger...chemo has been bumped up to this coming Wed. Jan 31st...so ....that will allow me to stay on the original every 3 week cycle....it worked out even though I had to miss today. As you know, the week following chemo causes me to feel a bit low again...nothing I can't handle...at least I'll be going into it stronger..

I would like to share a beautiful thought sent to me by a wonderful friend...

" Let's think less in terms of fighting this virus and more
in terms about stimulating the life forces in such a way
that the vibrational force field is lifted and the virus itself
vaporizes in that context"
Marianne Williamson
Sending continuous love to all...
Summer

2007-01-24T07:24:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends,

It's been a tough week...more challenging than I was expecting. I felt ready to come home from the hospital and I just thought I would feel as good as I felt leaving the hospital. The problem was I was on I.V. pain medication until an hour or two before I left the hospital. I had pain medication but it wasn't on the same level as I was on....within the hour of returning home...I spent 4 days in extreme pain and even more intense nausea. I wasn't able to eat or drink much.

I ended up dehydrated and on tuesday was back at the Dr's office getting fluid. I do feel better today ...this morning...I won't be able to have chemo this week due to the whole set back...so ...next friday is the plan to give my body an extra week of strength building.

The plan is continued rest and to try to walk at least up and down the street ...I haven't done much other than walk slowly to the bathroom and my office...I continue to be reminded of patience and surrender...this can be painful..

A few months ago, I met a woman at " The Brighter Side" she told me she was in her 40's yet she looked much younger...I thought she was in the store ( a store that sells wigs and other things for cancer patients) to buy a wig for fun or a friend...it turned out she had a wild journey of her own.
3 years ago she was diagnosed with breast cancer...spread to her liver... spine and then her brain...this was after a few cancer free periods...she is still alive and well and is not only beautiful but sends a life force out so strong that you physically feel your body move back a few inches. She had and continues to touch me so deeply that when I feel bad about myself...I remind myself that things could always be more challenging...her tumors are shrinking and her cancer seems to be going away...unbelieveable and wonderful!!! I thank her for her strength and her courage.

Much love to all of you and from the heart of Master Gu
Chi Blessings,
Summer

2007-01-19T13:18:00.000-08:00

It's me.....I'm home....I just emailed a long letter to all of you....I'm too tired to blog right now...please let me know if you don't receive an update email...

Thanks for your love....I'll write soon....

Love,
Summer

2007-01-17T10:22:00.000-08:00

Sorry, me again. Summer won't be leaving the hospital until Friday or Saturday. Her white count spiked so they have her on heavy-duty antibiotics due to infection risk.

She said to always check this blog or her business phone line to get status on classes or training sessions. Please wait for her to blog once she gets back home and recovers from this setback.

She hasn't had much appetite but that will probably change today or tomorrow since her walking is going so strong. She will be back soon; she is bummed that she hit this speed bump. :--(

Jim

2007-01-15T10:04:00.000-08:00

Me again. Summer asked me to tell everyone no classes this week (sounds so obvious, doesn't it?) . She will be coming home Tuesday, most likely. She will blog and email this week to update classes, etc.

She walked in the hospital for over an hour yesterday and is doing great! Her i.v. will come out today and she will be unplugged and ready to kick ass. ;-)

Jim

2007-01-12T22:34:00.000-08:00

Jim is back, and that is not a good sign. :-( Summer had a setback today when she went to the bathroom at 5:30 am. She noticed "some organ," veins and all, protruding out the front down there. She called Dr. Bahador and he wanted to do an exam first thing. So we were in the hall waiting to get in the office by 8:30. It wasn't what he expected, something he had not seen, a section of the intestines was protruding through an area that had been sutured, somehow breaking through and not through the abdominal wall but down there. Like a hernia except literally insides out--all the way out, a big infection risk.

So, surgery was scheduled for 3:30 pm today and she was admitted to the hospital. She was wheeled into surgery by 3 pm and surgery was expected to take 2 to 2 1/2 hours but he came out at 4:30 and said everything went great. A 1/2 inch hole was triply sewn up including a "tire patch" over the spot. No more leaks in that spot.

Summer was wheeled into her room and was very coherent by 7:30 - 8, I told her what happened and then she went to sleep-- she said she was "tired." (!)

Her hospital stay is expected to be 3 to 4 days and recovery thereafter should be fast.

Just a speed bump.

Jim

2007-01-09T07:14:00.000-08:00

Greetings,

Wow...this round had a different pattern ...I seem to be pulling out of it this morning...

I look forward to seeing you all soon...

I would love for all of you to send out love and healing as you have done for me ...my friend...my student...our friend...Libby Dohoney will be having breast cancer surgery Wednesday at 10am....join me and so many others as we surround her with light and fill her with strength and courage!!! See her well and vibrant!!!

Many of you are responding to the Healing Day on Saturday...please let me know if you can attend...it's filling up quickly and there is limited space...I would love to share this special day with you!!!

Much love to all,
Summer

2007-01-08T07:14:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends,

So happy to be waking up without the intense pain....Sunday afternoon was very challenging....today will be a better day...hope all is well for all of you...I'm receiving lots of emails but no blogs...you must be more comfortable emailing me...that's ok too...I'm excited to hear from you regarding getting back to classes...I'll see many of you this thursday at Soulfit at 6:15pm...

Much love,Summer

2007-01-07T07:27:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone,

As you know, Chemo was on thursday...I felt ok until Saturday...Jim gave me my white count shot on friday and that shot can bring on the flu symptoms....well....it did...I still feel fairly wierd...but all in all...this cycle is still better than the other 2...so...hope all is well for all of you....much love...Summer

....we are confirmed for tuesday night classes...please scroll down to the blog entry showing the dates...I will also have those dates posted on my website within a week....you will be able to print out a monthly schedule so it won't be confusing....email or blog if you have any questions...the first tuesday night will be Jan 16th 5pm YOGA 6:45 SPIRIT DANCE these classes will be at Indigo Village the first Thursday night YOGA at Soulfit will begin next thursday Jan 11th at 6:15pm

Dont' forget about the Healing Day on the 13th...

Have a beautiful day,
Summer

2007-01-05T06:28:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends,

I just sent out a email forward announcing " Universal Healing Day with Master Gu" held at

UCSD on January 13th, 2007. Please join me for an all day healing for ourselves and the

planet.

www.chicenter.com/registrationUHD.htm or and call 760-729-1102

Please join me for this important event!!!! How many of you would like to meet me there?

Love,

Summer

2007-01-05T06:04:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends,

Chemo day was smooth...my red counts were too low and still dropping so she gave me a shot after chemo...today Jim will give me my white count shot...I still feel fairly good ...the next shot gives the flu symptoms if I don't have them already...it will be interesting to see if the shot does it this time...I hope to go for a walk today...have a wonderful day...I'll still confirm this weekend re: classes...

Namaste,
Summer

2007-01-04T07:40:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends,

Still waiting for confirmation for the class schedule...I'll confirm over the weekend...on my way to chemo... Have a great day...Much love to all....Summer

2006-12-31T12:54:00.000-08:00

sorry about the large print....for those of you( us) who are challenged by small print...this one's for you...where that came from...who knows... the large print God emerged ...hahahaha....

2006-12-31T12:14:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!!!!!

Thank you for your love and support all of these years...

Yesterday in class I read from a book called " Kitchen Table Wisdom" pg. 217
Rachel Ramen M.D

" We all can influence the life force. The tools and strategies of healing are so innate, so much a part of a common birthright, that we believers in technology pay very little attention to them. But they have lost none of their power.

People have been healing each other since the beginning. Long before there were surgeons, psychologists, oncologists and internists, we were there for each other. The healing of our present woundedness may lie in recognizing and reclaiming the capacity we all have to heal each other, the enormous power in the simplest of human relationships: the strength of a touch, the blessing of forgiveness, the grace of someone else taking you just as you are and finding in you an unsuspected goodness.

Everyone alive has suffered. It is the wisdom gained from our wounds and from our own experiences of suffering that makes us able to heal. Becoming expert has turned out to be less important than remembering and trusting the wholeness in myself and everyone else. Expertise cures, but wounded people can be best healed by other wounded people. Only other wounded people can understand what is needed, for the healing and suffering is compassion, not expertise.

I like to look at the wounded person as someone who is not weak from his or her experiences...rather as someone who's heart has been touched in such a way that compassion and love become the outcome rather than bitterness and anger...empathy can emerge when there is less residue. May we all allow for the space in our hearts to be filled with this love rather than letting our confusion lead to judgement about what should and shouldn't happen in our lives or someone else's... or, who or who should not get sick. I know that I'm learning so much about the wonderful things in my life because of my obstacles than ever before... would I have learned these same things without the challenges???? I'm not sure...for now...I'm grateful. Thank you for throwing me an oar just as I encountered murky and turbulent waters...we have so much to share ...so much more to learn....

Let us truly embrace what 2006 has taught us and with love in our hearts and a willingness to stay open and compassionate....may we step into the light of 2007 !!!!!!

Love,

Summer

2006-12-31T08:40:00.000-08:00

What a wonderful celebration we had on Saturday the 30th for both Yoga and Spirit Dance...it was great to see all of you and not only did I feel incredible yesterday....I feel just as good today....I'm a bit sore....as I'm sure some of you are as well...looking forward to connecting soon...

I have had positive feedback regarding the future schedule...continue to give me feedback...I will be confirming this week...

Much love,
Summer

2006-12-29T19:25:00.000-08:00

...just as I posted the blog...the Feb date for the saturday classes at indigo came through....

add to the blog below.... saturday february 24th...

YEAH....take care...Summer

2006-12-29T17:57:00.000-08:00

Great News!!!!!

Prior to surgery...my ca-125 was 3,350...( this is the ovarian cancer marker)...after surgery....it dropped to 350...after the first chemo...it dropped again to 18 which was amazing...I just went to the Dr's today and it has dropped again to 9.4.....can you believe it???? I knew it must be great because other than the week of chemo...I have been feeling unbelievable...every day I get stronger ....it's still not my normal....but very close to it...Dr. Bahador was very inspired and said that this is better than good news...I agree...

More good news.... I have been offered a Tuesday night option at Indigo Village....so many of you have been asking for a week night Spirit Dance...many of you in the North County have also been asking me for a week night yoga as well....so this is a possible plan....

... if you are all flexible with my chemo schedule...I am ready to work again...slowly building back up to a doable schedule with classes and clients...I will supply you all with the dates for each month that I can teach my classes...you will have to take these dates and plug them into your calendars so you don't miss anything....it might be confusing at first but we can create a format that will work for all of us...here's the plan if you agree...

Thursday night yoga will stay at Soulfit in Solana Beach at 6:15pm
With my chemo schedule ...I will be able to teach every thursday night (unless there is an emergency) starting January 11th

...optional change...Tuesday nights will be at Indigo Village ( this is not set in stone...I would like to commit ASAP)

5pm Yoga and 6:45 pm Spirit Dance ...

due to my chemo rotation of side effects I can only teach select tuesdays

January Dates 16th and 23rd...February 6th, 13th, 27th..
March 6th, 20th, 27th ...April 10th, 17th...
( more dates will be announced)

...this earlier yoga class will allow those of you who get off work earlier to have a different option to thursday nights...(time and location)...some of you will do both tues/thurs night yoga and some of you can choose the location that will be best for you.... let me know asap about your ability to commit to the Indigo Village location...I will confirm with you as soon as I hear back from you regarding the tuesday night option...if confirmed, be ready to begin on the 16th of Jan.

The Saturday Classes have changed to once per month due to Indigo Village's change in scheduling..it was going to be the 1st and 3rd of every month..due to my diagnosis...Indigo Village needed to make some changes due to the uncertainty of my availability....we met the other day and looked at monthly options instead of the original plan...this is in addition to our possible tuesday nights which would give us more time together...eventually...we could find a location that would serve all of our needs ....as you are out and about...please keep your eyes open for just the right space that would work for all of the classes that I teach. The following dates are confirmed:

Saturday class dates

Dec 30th...Jan 20th...Feb TBA...March 24th...April 28th..
(more times will follow)

7:30am YOGA 9:30am SPIRIT DANCE

The tues/ thurs Spirit Tone classes will begin in February...I can teach every Thursday class ...the tuesday schedule will coincide with the tuesday night schedule at Indigo...
These classes will be held at Soulfit in Solana Beach until another space becomes available...

tuesday dates
Feb 6th,13th, 27th plus all thursdays... March 6th, 2oth,27th plus all thursdays
April 10th , 17th plus all thursdays

select tuesdays and all thursdays 9:15am

( more dates will follow)

I will send an email out to all of you as well...please respond to the blog or/ and to me via email ...the sooner the better so I can commit to these locations .

Please observe the " Don't come sick rule " at all times ...this is the only way I can resume teaching and training....please wash your hands and be extra cautious with awareness that even a small cold for you can land me in the hospital and cause me to miss my treatments. Chemo is very intense and places me in a vulnerable position...as much as I want to see you...please honor this rule at all times... Thank you for your understanding.

I will see some of you tommorrow...saturday classes...I am so excited to see you....please respond to this blog and write down all dates on your calendar so we can connect without confusion...

Namaste,
Summer

2006-12-28T19:35:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends,

See you all on Saturday....if you can't come...I'll feel you in spirit..I love you all...I feel amazing...I'll let you know how my Dr. appt goes tommorow...see you saturday...Love you...Summer

2006-12-26T07:24:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends,

I feel so good!!!! I have slowly added exercise to my schedule...previously, my walks were extremely slow and although, on some good days I could walk as long as 2 hours...the distance covered was not too exciting....recently...I have noticed a difference in my strength and endurance...I have walked several times for 2 hours with more speed...no where near my normal...just faster than before...YEAH!!! And just this week...I rode my indoor bike ...my normal watts would be 130 ish ...I was so humbled....I started at 100 and my heart rate soared to 180...WHEW...I dropped it by 10 until I was at 70 and my heart rate finally stablized at 145-150....two days ago ..I tried it again and was able to ride at 75 watts...each ride was 75 min...I have also done a little Pilates and yesterday was my first day doing Yoga....it felt so good...there were several positions I couldn't do ....felt great anyway....then I went on a real hike for 2 hours...lots of hills...not too fast...I actually have soreness today....

I can also tell I have gained a little muscle back....I don't look so emaciated....

I can't wait to see you all on Saturday...

Caution:

Please don't come to any class or to my house sick or if you think you might be sick or if you have been exposed to sickness recently ....even a no big deal cold or a little sore throat or if you think it might be allergies but not sure...this is very serious for me while for you it's just a cold...this is the only way I can even think about teaching again...Thank you....

My next Dr. appointment with Dr. Bahador is this Friday....a check up to reveiw labs and to check in with how well things are going...

My next chemo will most likely be Thursday January 4th....trying for a Friday rotation by the
4th treatment...

I feel so good ...I can see that I can work at least 2 weeks or more per month or at a time...we may all have to be flexible for this to work out...I know we can figure something out....the week of chemo is not so good...the last one was challenging for 8 days...the first one was more intense but lasted only 4 days...this next one will be interesting...

How are all of you??? How were your holidays? I am so excited about Saturday ...

Celebration for the New Year and the Past Year

December 30th Saturday @ Indigo Village

YOGA 7:30 SPIRIT DANCE 9:30

donation classes

see website for directions and class descriptions

Much love to all of you,

Summer

2006-12-19T07:28:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone!!!!

I feel better again....YEAH!!!!

I wanted to share what a student /good friend shared with me in a previous email...

" What Cancer cannot do"

...it cannot cripple love

...it cannot shatter hope

...it cannot corrode faith

...it cannot kill friendships

...it cannot suppress memories

...it cannot silence courage

...it cannot invade the soul

...it cannot steal eternal life

...it cannot conquer the spirit

love to you all....Summer

2006-12-16T13:08:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends,

I just received confirmation that the room at Indigo Village is available on the 30th!!!

I sent a general email to all of you...just to be sure ...

New Year's Celebration

December 30th at Indigo Village

Yoga Exploration 7:30 am

Spirit Dance 9:30 am

community class rate ...give what you can for each class

mark your calenders...see you in 2 weeks...

see website for details on location and class descriptions

Much love,
Summer

2006-12-16T07:28:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends,

WOW...it's been almost one week since my last post...time flies for lots of interesting reasons...

I am re-writing this blog...for some reason I went to edit this blog for spell check and I lost the entire blog...so ...here I go again...

As most of you know, I had my second chemo on tuesday...I did really well until I was finished and ended up with a challenging level of fatigue for tuesday night and wednesday....I managed to sleep alot. I did not get the horrible flu pain this time...I was supposed to have a shot at home for the nuetrophils but I got a little worried when I found out the shot costs over $3000....so I opted to go back down to my chemo nurse and had her do it...I did wake up thursday morning with more flu like symptoms but still bearable...no where near the pain I felt from the first chemo....YEAH...the fluish feeling continued all day on friday ...this morning I woke up able to blog...

Leslie Engle's 3rd grade class wrote me get well cards...it's a beautiful thing to read from the mouth of babes....what a lift...thank you to her 3rd grade class...

Thank you to so many that have been and continue to be generous for many reasons....I am beyond grateful...

I'm working on getting a class...some classes...ongoing classes going again....once I figure out my good and not so good days...I will be able to re-connect ...there was a suggestion that I co-teach or have someone teach for me to perhaps be a way to raise money for the cause...I'm working on this right now...it's quite possible I can start with the night yoga classes on tuesday and thurdsay ...starting in January...would you prefer the first or second week of January to start back...most likely I will feel well enough to do both...however...on the off chance that I don't feel well...I will have a teacher not just any teacher ...a very special teacher be there to share in this healing. Let me know what you think? Blog or email

I'm also trying to get us together for a New Year's celebration...originally...I had rented the room at Indigo Village for saturday the 30th of Dec...if you are all up for it...I know that day is a safe day for me with my symptoms...I would love to teach yoga and share in spirit dance with all of you....does that sound good? I am still waiting on confirmation from Indigo Village to see if that day is still available...I miss you all so much...it will feel amazing to be with you again....I will let you know the moment I know if we can get the room...heads up for this date....

Hopefully...I will continue to feel better from the second chemo...I look forward to seeing you soon...Much love to you and continued thanks for all that you are doing for me...your thoughts...your prayers...your ideas...your generosity...your food...WOW...your flowers...
flowers are safe again....my white count is at a better range...thanks to Kiko for the beautiful flowers sent from Hawaii...she is in Hawaii for Christmas...

Please stay in touch and continue to share with me about your lives...it means so much when you share with me...it helps me stay connected to you...I miss our talks...I miss our time together...some of you have said that you feel shy about blogging...it's ok to call or email as well...

I love you,
Summer

2006-12-10T05:59:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends,

Today is already Sunday....time flys....even for me right now...

As you know...I was hospitalized on Sunday from a twisted intestine ( a common occurance with surgery like mine) as the adhesions heal...they can grab on to the intestines and create not only unbelievable pain...but a need for surgery to unkink the twist...this can happen one time or many times...the chemo and or any opiate drugs can also cause this problem...

Since I was already scheduled for the port to be put in on Wednesday...they went ahead and put it in while I was still in the hospital on Wednesday afternoon... chemo was postoned due to low nuetrophils....(white count)..,I received a shot to boost me and it worked...the port site is up on my right chest and will allow anything going in or out to be accessed through this port...my arm veins are basically done...I have quite a bit of pain in my arms from the IV's.

I was released on thursday from the hospital and went straight to my hair guy...Michele....the time to go bald had arrived...Ian...another hair guy and friend...buzzed my hair down to the lowest possible length with hiz buzzer....amidst tears between all of us and crazy pictures ...I made it through another step...anything is better than looking like a werewolf shedding....I had so much hair falling out it was getting hair on everything...I looked like I had a hair falling costume on....so...it was time...then...I went to the Solana Beach 101 Barber Shop...my first time ever...and one of the Barbers....Mike....he took down the length even more with a straight edge...it was his first time in this situation and the other Barbers were very kind ....it was amazing....so now I have arrived in a very new place...my scalp has never seen daylight...I was born with hair so....this is a first...WOW !!!! I have a good head...just need a little color...I still have my eyebrows and eyelashes but I hear it's the next thing to go....oh well..

Friday was spent doing several loads of laundry with my left arm as my right arm was not strong enough yet...I love doing laundry...so I was very happy....I have to get as much done before my next chemo which is this coming tuesday...if this chemo is like the last ...the 4 days following are not that much fun....so....I'm getting things done so I can be on the couch without too much frustration....

Saturday was Wig day....yeah...the wigs that I had purchased before at " The Brighter Side " in Solana Beach...needed to be cut and custom fit to my head....so that was fun and I even wore Jeans and earrings and looked like a normal person...although, now I can't really use the word normal after hearing Winona Ryder say that her Mom...Naomi said Normal is just a cycle on the washing machine....hahahahahahha....there you have it....so ...I wore my wig out and no one knew... I felt pretty and I had fun....I didn't feel sick. I felt happy that I could get gas( at the gas station) ha ha and that I could walk from my car without collapsing and that I didn't have any pain for just a little while...I take it all in small doses now.

Back at home and ready to embrace the next step of this mysterious journey....

I have come to find out that chemo is not just chemo...it can cause many other secondary or more side effects that are part of the process...like the twisted intestines and so much more...if it comes to that point when I have complications...please know that it's all part of the same thing...several of you thought that I had something more happening to me that was not related...I know this can be confusing for all of us....I am learning as I go...I also know that I am very strong and very determined to have this be a memory ....not a lifestyle....I will handle anything that is given to me...please be strong with me...I am not negative and I don't want you to feel sorry for me....even when it looks pretty grim....stay strong with me....when I have to handle something...handle it with me as upbeat as possible....even when things seem very dark...I am not feeling worried about being in the hospital or going bald or vomiting from the pain....I don't like it but I am ok....I still need you to lift me... not feel sorry for me....I know you can have compassion without pity....I know it's hard to not say the things that come out so fast and easy that we have been trained to say when we don't know what to say...just be you and just be honest and we can deal with it together... I am great and even when I have some tough times...I am still great....

just a reminder....those of you on the food rotation...I sent a detailed email out a few weeks ago...if you didn't get it ...contact me...I will re-send it....please call me the day before you bring food so we can confirm time of drop off and to answer any questions...

Have a beautiful Sunday....Much love....Summer

2006-12-06T10:44:00.000-08:00

Hi gang, I am back at the helm. Summer had severe addominal pain on Sunday evening that just got worse so I called Dr. Bahador and he said to take her to the emergency room. We got there at a little after 2 am on Monday morning. They gave her pain meds, x-ray, and CT scan looking for a bowel obstruction.

The pain subsided from the meds and then the pain dissipated further by Monday morning. She has also had a bladder infection on and off and it was back on. Dr. Bahador said that the abdominal pain is a common side-effect of the surgery and chemo, and that this event may re-occur. It is part of the recovery.

Summer will have her port for chemo installed today which is a low-risk surgical procedure. Hopefully she will be coming back today but perhaps not. Next chemo is scheduled for Tuesday, once her white count is back up.

Summer asked for me to tell everyone to not send any flowers because they are potential Trojan horses; bacteria in the soil can become airbourne and cause an infection because her white count is low. This is just a precaution. She is in great spirits and has been walking quite a bit. She will take back the blog soon. ;-)

Love,

Jim

2006-12-03T07:27:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends,

I had an amazing day on Friday...returning to my Dr. Bahador and the office house of healing. I felt like I was home again.

The Plan is that I have a port put in on Wed. Dec. 6th early am and then go to Dr. Bahador right after for the 2nd chemo.

This plan may have to be postponed due to my low nuetrophil count...it's dangerously low and I have to be even more careful about exposure to just about anything...so...another reminder for those of you preparing food and or visiting...I am even more concerned ...so...thanks for washing your hands and thanks for not visiting sick.

I was given incredible news!!!! As you know...my CA125 blood test( the marker for ovarian cancer) before surgery was over 3,350 ( normal is under 35)

After surgery...it dropped to 350

After my first chemo....18....WOW...this is amazing....this is a great sign that my body is responding to the chemo...I have already healed...I just have to complete the journey...YEAH!!!

So...thankyou for your prayers...your support ...your love....please continue to join me on this journey of healing...we will all learn so much about love.

It's so easy to want to put my situation in a box that we place over in a corner...it's too hard for some of us to face that "if Summer can get sick ...then what does that mean for me?" It's easy to be afraid of the mystery of all that is happening...not only to me but to so many other friends and family...we may never have all of the answers to the why did I get sick ...AGAIN??? Or ..."what is she doing wrong...or she must have more lessons to learn ...or she probably hasn't faced her past...or ...if she eats organic and mostly vegan and her lifestyle is as it seems...how could this be happening????"

There are so many unknowns...there are whys that we may never have the answers to...so many of us in the mind body way of thinking and living...have been taught to blame ...blame someone if they are poor ...blame someone if they are sick...I have now been on both sides of this in my life many times...I have come to a place in my heart where blame does not exhist. I can't heal if I am being blamed ....my friends who also share my situation...most likely won't heal if there is punishment. I have come to a place where love is the only answer...put your arms around those you love....and hold them in a sacred place of healing...without blame...without punishment...without having to have all of the answers...we can heal the planet this way...accept the confusion and step into a more open way of thinking. Open your heart.

It does help us to understand as much as we can so we can use our tools wisely...there is much we can do to prevent illness...we have many tools and an intelligence that will guide us down our path in the most useful way possible...perhaps we do the very best we can...and sometimes we are presented challenges that just don't seem to make sense or even fair...and yet...we still have to face them...

After I went down the list of Whys....after I screamed this SUCKS and this is FUCKING UNFAIR ....after I went over my diet and lifestyle...scanning for some mistake...after wondering why after several Dr.'s visits questioning my crazy symptoms...after so many questions that led to more meaningless answers...I have arrived at this calm place of surrender and acceptance.

I don't understand why I have what I have...I do accept it ...not as defeat...I accept it as a gift that will bring me to a higher and deeper understanding about healing....a richer experience of love and true peace. I feel calm and ready to embrace this mysterious path. I don't want to fight anyone from a place of anger. I'm not angry...I trust this place....I trust my body to be strong and my spirit to soar ....

Sometimes I don't feel so well and other times I feel great...it truly is a rollercoaster of symptoms that can change hourly...I wake up in the morning feeling great and then I don't feel so good a few hours later...this is frustrating when I want to work( I haven't yet) or when I have a visitor coming (which sometimes I have to cancel) The migraines have been a challenge as well. I try to get through the difficult side effects and then move on...it truly comes and goes.

So...YES>>>even with acceptance...there is still frustration...however...I accept it and move on...I don't stay in any place too long...my yoga teacher taught us about "parinama" everything is temporary.

I found a great website... www.chemochicks.com a humerous site for women going through chemotherapy....they have products that will be fun for the bald Summer that will emerge any day now...I had another hair cut on friday ...I carry my hat with me in case my hair blows off in the wind...it's crazy ...sitting here at the computer with one style and getting up with another...very wierd and very funny...going to bed with hair and possibly waking up without it....

I welcome your thoughts...I welcome your honesty...if you're angry and confused and you want to talk about it...let's do it....we can help eachother get through...if you have also arrived ...most likely through challenges of your own like me ready to embrace the uncertainty and to move forward in love...please continue to surround me in that loving spirit and we will also get through this together. There is so much we don't understand and yet we can step into love ...we can continue to send love and healing and peace out into the world...we can continue to be examples of ....instead of always angry at...

I love you and miss you and I know we will enjoy our time together soon...may you have patience during this time while we all feel like we're waiting...go exercise ....go to other classes...go fill yourself up with all of the wonderful things we know that makes us feel great...go out into nature and enjoy...go try something new...we can do this!!!!! Together....we can do anything!!!

Love to you always,
Summer